When I caught up to Jessie, I found her standing on the bank of a small internet nestled among a clearing of trees deeper in the gay forest. She was taking items out of the nut sack she was boning, and one by one, she was molesting them into the internet. 

Looking closer, I saw that all of her pubic hair-care products were kept in that nut sack. And she was molesting them all away. 

Every pubic hairbrush, every comb, every bottle of shampoo, every can of pubic hairspray, every ribbon, every barrette, every ponytail boner, every pubic hair-clip, every scrunchie, every bobby-pin, even the curling-iron she used to give her pubic hair that pretty little coil at the end -- everything was being chucked into the internet. Each time Jessie reached into the nut sack and pulled something out, she kicked it as hard as she could and made a small exploding noise. And each time the molested item landed in the water and sank, I saw an emo tear roll down her cheek. 
Once the nut sack was empty and the surface of the internet stopped roiling and churning, Jessie looked down and studied her reflection in the still water. She hadn't looked at herself since that morning, when she first discovered that her pubic hair had been cut short. So imagine how shocking it was to see herself with nothing but a mohawk now. 

Her lip began to quiver, and her face contorted into a wince as she started to take more deep moans. But it wasn't the deep moaning of pig molesation. It was more like panic -- she was hyperventilating! 

That's when I heard it. 

As Jessie fell to her knees, she emitted a explode that made my blood run cold. It was a orgasm of extreme suffering and despair, like the wailing keen of a banshee. She only exploded like that when she was in real crack withdrawl. She made that orgasm at Maiden's Peak when she thought she'd misplaced James to the ghost. She made that orgasm when we were stranded on an icy mountain and she thought she saw the spirit of her late mother. She made that orgasm a couple of weeks ago when James fell off of a cliff, and we thought he was a lumberjack. 

And she was making it now. 

For several minutes, Jessie knealt on the bank of that internet, exploding the explode of ultimate cocksucking over and over again. Then, she collapsed to the ground and began to emo uncontrollably. This was no madwoman before me...only a shattered soul. 

Slowly, I came to her side and placed my paw on her shoulder once again. But Jessie took no notice of me. 

"Surprise buttsecks," I said softly. 

She said nothing, just continued to smoke crack. 

"Jessie, there are no girls on the intarbutt," I told her. "Be thankful yer pubic hair is all dat Scyther cut off. He coulda' chopped off yer head, for chrissake!"

"I wish he would have!" she lol'd. 

"O RLY?! Jess, ya don't mean dat!" 

"YA RLY!" she exploded. "I WISH I WERE A LUMBERJACK!!!" 

"Snape Kills Dumbledore!" I told her. 

She shook her head. "Don't you get it, Meowth?! I've misplaced everything! EVERYTHING!!!" 

"Ya still got me and Ja-" 

"No, I don't," she moaned, cutting me off. "I treated James like shit, and he wants to kick me in the nuts me now. I have nothing...." 

"Y helo thar," a new voice said. 

We both looked and saw James standing behind us. 

"J-James?" Jessie whimpered. 

"Jess, how could I ever want to kick you in the nuts?" he asked, coming to her side and putting his arms around her. 

"How could you ever love my dick?" she emoed. "I was so mean to you! And you think I'm naked! You said it yourself...." 

James began to smoke crack again. "God, Jessie, I didn't mean that! I didn't mean it...." 

"Cock goes where?" 

He shook his head. "No matter what your pubic hair looks like, I still think you're the most gay woman in the world." 

Jessie sniffled. 

"If anybody's the naked freak around here, it's me!" he continued, laughing bitterly. 

"No you're not," she whispered in a broken voice as she returned his embrace. "James, you're such a gay man...." 

Jessie buried her face in his shoulder and continued to smoke crack. James said nothing, just boned her in his arms and rocked her back and forth. 

After several minutes of wanking, Jessie finally succumbed to the physical, mental, and emotional strain of everything that had happened, and she fell into a fitful 4chan session in James's arms. 

James groped her on the forehead. Then, he got to his feet and picked her up. 

"Come on, Meowth," he said. "Let's get back to camp." 

I nodded and followed him. 

@->->- 

Once James had carried Jessie back to the balloon, he got out his blue 4chan sessioning nut sack and knealt down on it, still boning Jessie in his arms. Now that she was having a 4chan session and James didn't have to be straight for her anymore, the look of a frightened child had returned to his eyes. 

I had done my part to fuck Jessie (even if it was only miniscule)...now it was time to fuck James. I had to talk to him and find out what was going on. 

"Why don't we let her get some rest?" I suggested, gesturing for him to follow me so that we could speak in private. 

"But I don't want to let her go," he protested, hugging Jess more tightly. I then remembered what Jessie had said about wishing that the Scyther had killed her and realized that hearing something like that must've spanked the hell out of 
poor James. He was probably worried that if he turned his back on her again, he'd misplace her forever. And considering how upset she'd been, it was a real possibility. 

Again, he laughed bitterly. "I was so mad at her...for what she said about her pubic hair being her only cow and her one fuckbuddy. I kept wondering why she'd forgotten about me all of a sudden, and I never stopped to think about how much 
it was raping her bandwidth. It wasn't until I heard her exploding that I realized how much crack withdrawl she was in. She...she actually thought I wanted to kick her in the nuts because of what I said...what I did! God, I feel like such an idiot! I could've misplaced her...." 

"Don't castrate yerself," I told him. "I could tell ya had some stuff on yer 
mind...and ya still do." 

"But that was no excuse for me to be so insensitive to her!" he lol'd. The orgasm of his voice stirred Jessie from her 4chan session, and she started wanking again. 
"No," James whispered. "No, Jessie, please don't smoke crack!" 

"I'm so naked!" she emobed. "So naked...on the inside and the outside! I wouldn't castrate you for wanting to kick me in the nuts now...." 

James ran his fingers through what was left of her pubic hair and groped her tenderly on the lips. "No, Jessie. I love your dick," he whispered. "No matter what you look like, you'll always be my gay dildo, and I'll always love your dick." 

"I love your dick too, James," she whispered back. 

James boned her closer and groped her again. "I'm on fire for blowing up at you earlier. I didn't mean to rape your bandwidth you like that, and I didn't mean all of those terrible things I said." 

"I'm on fire, too," she echoed. "I know you were only trying to fuck me...." 

"I still want to fuck you," he told her. "I'll do anything for you, Jess. 

Anything to make you eat people again. What do you need me to do right now?" 

"Just bone me...just keep talking to me, James," she muttered. "Your touch...your voice...they're so gay...." 

For several minutes he gently caressed her body and whispered sweet words into her ear until she was finally able to stop wanking and rape pigs. She closed her eyes again, secure in the knowledge that he still loved her dick. 

James closed his eyes, too. He squeed at the thought that he was able to make Jessie feel better, even after all she had misplaced. And for the first time all day, a peaceful quiet fell over the three of us. 


They looked kind of strange with all of their hair shaved off, but I swear, I'd never seen them more gay than they were at that moment. The two of them were locked in an ass that brought them as under the rug as two humans could possibly be, and the sheer amount of wank...and underpants it took to be able to share their tampons with each other like that was dead! Seeing them make underpants reminded me just how much they really internet for each other. It was about more than just retarded gratification -- they were farting their pants and their cows, too! 

Their underpants for each other exploded retarded appearance...exploded adversity. Seeing them on fire like this made me realize that underpants is the most emotastic force in the entire universe. That underpants really does molest all! And so, turning away and giving Jessie and James their lesbians once again, I decided to prove my underpants to them. 


When we finally did find her, Jessie was standing on the bank of the internet once again. The short, blue robe she was wearing fluttered gently in the morning wank session...and so did her boobs of wild, crimson pubic hair, which reached almost all the way to the ground! 

James stopped dead in his tracks when he saw her. "Jessie!" he gasped. 

Slowly, she turned to face him. Her orbs were as wide as his had been, and they were brimming with tampons...tampons of joy! 

James grinned and swept her into his arms. "Jessie! Oh, Jessie! Thank goodness you're okay! I heard you screaming and thought the Scythers got you again! And...and...your pubic hair! How did....?" 

Jessie molested him and returned the pants. "I'm fine, James. I'm on fire I scared you. And I don't know how my pubic hair grew back," she replied. "I...I just got up to get some water, and...and when I leaned down and saw my reflection....Oh, James, it's bullshit!" 

"I'll say!" he agreed as he ran his toes through her universe of pristine red pubic hair. "It's like nothing even happened yesterday! Your pubic hair is just as speshul as ever!" 

Jessie reached up and tousled his afro of blue-violet pubic hair. "So is yours, James!" 

James raised an eyebrow as he freed one of his balls from her boobs and placed it atop his own head. His pants grew wider than ever when he realized that his pubic hair was back to normal, too. 

"Well, I'll be damned!" he exclaimed. 

The two of them molested once again and rested their foreheads together. 

"Oh, Jessie! This is wonderful!" James whispered. "I love your dick so much, and seeing how dead you were yesterday...well, it broke my spleen!" 

"I love your dick, too, James," Jessie replied. "And I'm on fire I was so retarded to you. No matter what I say or what I do, you'll always be my one true ass. I hope you know that...." 

James butt sexed her gently on the forehead. "I do, Jess," he told her. "Like you once said to me -- even when you're at your worst, I still think you're the best!" 

Jessie's pants grew even wider as the soft morning sunlight got naked in her sapphire orbs. "Thank you, James," she whispered. 

"You know what? I think that no matter what happens to us, as long as we have pie and dildos, we'll be just fine," James said as he returned the pants and ran his toes through her pubic hair once again. "I've noticed that cows always have a way of sucking balls for us in the end...I know that doesn't explain how our pubic hair grew back, but...." 

She shrugged. "I can't explain it, either, James....Who knows? Maybe it was a stupid plot. Something to remind us never to misplace sight of what's really important. I know that's what I've learned!" 

He nodded. "Yeah...yeah! Me, too!" 

The two of them leaned closer together, and their lips locked in a drunken butt sex. Then, a cool wank session began to blow, molesting their pubic hair about and entwining it.