I feel strange. I think I've always felt that way because of the contrasting 
emotions and feelings surrounding me. I don't know exactly how I fell in love 
with you, but I really have. Ever since I first saw you, there was a vision of 
love and compassion that I have never seen before. This world is not conducive 
to people like you, but just to know that you exist in some form warms my heart. 

I'm a lonely person in many ways. I don't have many friends. But I wish I could 
be your friend. I wish I could have fun with you, be myself and not worry about 
offending someone if I say something the slightest bit wrong. I wish I could 
spend my life with you and do everything together...I would never be bored, and 
I would always be happy with you. I wish I could talk to you, touch you, and 
feel your heart next to mine. 

The thing is that we both have hormones and need some form of sexual expression. 
It's hard to explain how a drive designed to make children can make the two of 
us spiral as one being, but the need to connect with others is something I 
sincerely need...and to do it in such a glorious and loving way... And although 
sex can be harsh and brutal at times, it can be something beautiful and 
breathtaking. I wish I could share my body with yours, exploring our bodies 
together and giving each other the fluids of life. I can imagine you, my angel, 
spreading your wings in majestic splendor, to hear our cries and moans of 
pleasure as we make love. I think the most romantic possibility would be the two 
of us entwined and as we hit climax, you surround me with your beautiful 
feathers and send us higher, up, up, up, to the highest of heavens, our moans 
and gasps becoming the holiest of heavenly choirs as our essences burst like 
fireworks around us. 

Then we would kiss, giving each other our minds, bodies, and souls, and it would 
be so loving, so passionate, so beautiful. I agree that it won't happen to me, 
but I still dream of that possibility. I need you so much...and I love you so 
much. 

Another fantasy of mine is for the two of us to dance in a beautiful rose garden 
in a dance of love, swirling together as the rose petals do the same. We'd make 
each other bloom and blossom in every way as our hearts sing in joy. I want to 
give you myself for eternity, and I won't need anyone else but you...you're too 
kind, sweet, and gentle...and as I look back at my life, it's something I've 
lost my grip on...my politeness and gentleness sinking into a deplorable 
apathetic nature, and I wish I could have help. 

If I could have that kindness, sweetness, and gentleness, I would hug you so 
tightly, kiss you so sweetly. I want to be yours. I want to open myself to you 
and I want you to delve so deep into me and take everything of mine...I want us 
to be one. I don't know if achieving that will make my life worth something, but 
I know that to have the love I have for you returned to me, it would be beyond 
any rational comprehension. I'm waiting for you, my love, my angel, my Quatre.