FanFiction.Net : Anata no Ichiban ni Naritai Just In . C2 . Search . Directory . Dictionary Log In . Register Menu- FAQ/Help- TOS- Ad Blocker- Privacy Anime » Fushigi Yuugi » Anata no Ichiban ni NaritaiB s : A A A Author: Sara Jaye Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Romance - Reviews: 5 - Published: 06-15-03 - Updated: 06-15-03 id:1383785 "Anata no Ichiban ni Naritai" by Sara Jaye Wow, a songfic! Haven't done one of THESE in ages. *gasp* But I've been wanting to write one with this song for awhile...it just REALLY makes me think of Nuriko and his feelings for Hotohori. So angsty. ^=^ *dodges a table thrown at her by Nuriko* So I like angst! :P Anyway...this is set pretty much around the beginning of the series, so no MAJOR spoilers. [Fushigi Yuugi belongs to Watase Yuu, I'm just borrowing the characters for awhile. "Anata no Ichiban ni Naritai" is property of...whoever created Nadesico and wrote the music for it, I'm just borrowing the translated lyrics. This is a shounen ai fic with plenty of angst, so if that's not your speed, turn back now. Otherwise, enjoy! ^_^ ~ {{As I am holding on to feelings that I can't speak of, my heart is filled with visions of you.}} There he is again. Hotohori-sama...the man I love more than my own life. He's so beautiful...the way his hair tumbles down his back, those golden eyes, his smile, his voice... And his outer beauty is no match for what lies underneath. His heart is pure, his soul is gentle, and he's kind and loyal to everyone. {{But it looks like these unbearably painful thoughts will make me cry.}} Gods, I love him...love him so much it literally hurts. For I know my feelings are, always have been, and always will go unreturned. Unnoticed. {{Those eyes of yours are fixed on her, Forever unwavering it seems. But hey, just a little...only a little, could you look at me?}} His eyes are only for Miaka, though. His adoring gazes, the way he says her name...why her? Why can't he look at me that way? Just once, I'd like him to NOTICE me, say MY name with such gentleness... {{If I had met you before anyone else You would have loved me as in my dreams... as I wish, right?}} What if I had been Suzaku no Miko, or Miaka had never crossed our paths? Would he have loved me? {{If once more...once more we were to be born and meet again, next time, I want to be your number one.}} In another life...maybe I could have been the one he loved. {{The more often we meet, the worse I feel. Seeing you is bound to just make me lonely.}} Every time I see him, my heart flutters with joy. But then I remember my feelings are useless to him, and I die a little more inside. {{Isn't it selfish, this troublesome love that I feel?}} But how can I feel this way? Even if it wasn't for her, he couldn't love me anyway. He has to marry a woman, provide an heir to continue his legacy...I can't give him that. So maybe I should just back off. {{If I could only steal you... Yes, I have thoughts like those too.}} But I can't help it! Sometimes I just want to tell him the feelings I've been holding inside me for so long, to take him away from all of this and make him see he means the world to me! {{The distance between us...This is over... I don't wish to speak anymore.}} Sometimes I wish I could just run away from this. Leave the palace, leave Konan...just so I won't have to see him anymore and live with the knowledge that he'll never love me. But even if knowing that hurts, it would hurt even more to never see him again. So I stay. {{"You coward", another of myself will say.}} I'm such a coward. The irony makes me sick, almost-I can lift a table and punch through a wall with one hand, effortlessly, yet I can't get up the nerve to tell someone how I feel about them. {{Nevertheless, as always, I think you are the best.}} Even so, I'll always think you're wonderful, Hotohori-sama. I'll always love you, no matter what. {{If I had met you before anyone else You would have loved me as in my dreams ...as I wish, right?}} I only wish I could've been the one you noticed...before Miaka, before any other lady of the court. The one you got to know long before any others... {{If once more...once more we were to be born and meet again, next time, I want to be your number one.}} Maybe...if we died, and moved on to the next life and met once more... Maybe the next time around, I would be the one you love. I can always dream... Wo ai ni, Hotohori-sama...zutto...zutto... ~End~ *sniff* Poor Nuriko...this really DOES sound like something he'd sing! Anyway, I finally finished another story! Yay! ^_^ It's been awhile since I did, and I've been so caught up in my latest Sorcerer Hunters epic/saga, "Crash and Burn". I was telling Ang-chan how I felt bad for neglecting my FY fics yesterday, and planning to work on one of em today...and then I write this! ^_^ Foreshadowing? Premonition? ...Nah, just an extremely awesome coincidence. XD This song actually reminds me of a lot of anime characters-Tomo, Amiboshi, Gateau, Chocolat and Tira, Nayuki...but I hadn't done anything with Nuriko and Hotohori for awhile, so I decided now was the time to write some angsty, one-sided H&N goodness...maybe this will inspire me to *gasp* try and finish some of my other FY fics! But I've rambled enough for now. ^_^ Submit ReviewReport Possible AbuseAdd Story to FavoritesAdd Author to FavoritesAdd Author to Author AlertAdd Story to C2 Archive