It's late at night on a Saturday (about 11:40pm), and I just signed off the computer after being on for about...9-10 hours. That's early for me, but still kinda late...but maybe I'm just tired...fortunately, it's the weekend so I don't have to worry about getting up early for anything the next day. I go upstairs, get into bed, and turn on the TV. While waitng for the damn commercials to be over, I read the part I snipped from a Pokémon fanfic. From "There's Something about Misty" Misty had managed to yank the pokéball off. Hope Brock didn't mind her using the butter like that. "Hey, Misty...?" "What?" "Since when did you wear thongs?" She blushed. "Erk..." "Come on, Pikachu!" "PIKA!" "But I don't CARE what kind of nookie I get! Human, pokémon...hell, I'd screw a hole in a tree if I could find one!" "Piiiikapika..." Brock pouted. "I'm never gonna score..." When the two walked into camp, they both raised an eyebrow. Ash, naked from the waist down and....blink...hung like a bear? Something was very wrong here...and...oh my god, the BUTTER! And Misty....with a THONG? Brock went googly eyed and ran over to her, pouncing. She yelled. "Brock, get off me!" She managed to knee him in the groin. "DOWN boy!" Brock clamped his hands over his crotch and keeled over, coughing expletives out." Pikachu walked over to Ash. "Pikapi....PIKA!" "Er...hiya." "Pikapika?" Pikachu prodded Ash's hardon and blinked. "Chu?" "YOWCH! Pikachu, watch it...I had a Pokéball latched onto that thing earlier..." He grimaced. Pikachu grinned. "Pikapi pi pikachu chu pikapikapi!" "What? I do NOT have weird fetishes!" "Piiiika..." "Take that back!" Misty crawled back into her sleeping bag...promptly smashing Brock in the face for trying to crawl in with her. "G'night, Ash." "Night, Misty..." Ash drug his sleeping bag over near Misty's and climbed in. Brock crawled across the camp and slid into his own sleeping bag, grumbling. Pikachu snuck into it while Brock wasn't paying attention. Lesse...pants, pants, vest...too far up....ah...there it was. How it whipped itself out was beyond the pokémon's comprehension. She licked her licked, wrapped her mouth around it and....bit down HARD. Damn...Brock screamed like a girl when he was in pain. Pi ka chew! ^_^ That was...kinky. I go to sleep. Later... My idea of cool is staying up late online, then watching TV for while. Then I switch channels, and there's a really screwed up show on-with cursing and everything! It's on channel 58, and it's a sketch show thing. There's even a Pokémon parody where everyone's talking about the "sorry show" and what the producers want them to do! I must be stoned or something... "Metapod wins. Faintality." "Mis-ty!" "You're creeping me out, Brock..." LOL....where do you pull this stuff from? ^.^ The depths of my mind. Sounds like Brock had been taking some Pokéweed himSELF, ne? ^.~ Nah...he just hasn't had his morning coffee yet. "That's it man, Game over man. Just Game over!" All right, all right, I take it back! UnScrew you! "I have seen the truth...and it makes no sense." I'm not crazy. I've just been in a very bad mood for 18 years. Woah...I'm going outta my mind here! o-O;; Woah... Friday night, me and my friends stayed up for 30 hours... in those hours we saw many a strange things, the strangest being a show on the International Channel called "Po Po Po" It was Asian, but not Japanese, that I was sure of. It was some kind of kid's variety show...only on crack. ^-^ I think it's on around 5:00 Saturday morning my time, I highly suggest that you see it! Woah...30 hours! I've stayed up late before, but not that late. And I've never gotten a channel like that... Call me crazy, but I've always wondered what would happen if I stayed up online and wathcing TV till 2am. Maybe I'd see some weird TV, too... I'm going insane here...;-ţ Woah...*trying to figure out where the hell I am with a dazed look on my face* Have you ever wondered...if the reverse side also has a reverse side? Weird Dreams... I wake up and realize I overslept. I turn on the TV just in time for the Pokérap, and something is very wrong. For one thing, instead of the usual 4-pokéballs-in-4-corners screen, it says "Poké Rap" in the top left corner of an orange screen. Then when they show "today's Pokémon", I can't believe what I'm seeing! They're all scary-as-hell-versions of Rattata, Snorlax, Jynx (like Jynx could get any more scary-looking) and others, with names like "Scary" and "Weird". And for a split second I could've sworn I saw MissingNo! Talk about weird... *blinks* Woah...That was really spooky. 2:42 am, I'm *STILL* working on my homework, and I swear I just saw a Purin (Jigglypuff) run by a few seconds ago. If my morning continues like this, I'll be seeing all 151 pokemon running through my bedroom before I go to sleep. Perhaps I should stock up on some Ultraballs or something. Gotta catch 'em all. ::falls off chair due to lack of oxygen to her brain:: Somebody get me some caffiene... Talk about stoned! *just then, a whole gang of Wigglytuffs runs by, and a Haunter floating close behind them* What the...*blinks* Man, I gotta get some sleep. Late-night infomercial (12:15am) Rob Cypher's greatest hits! Get all-time faves such as: "It's hard to write when you're high!" "Clinton represents the chicken!" "Selling LSD is murder!" "Chlidren are born homo fight for their rights." "Clinton represents whores!" "What movie has that ice dildo scene?" "I raped a Chevy pickup truck!" "AHH!!! I'M NUDE!" "AHH!!! I'M NUDE (2nd try)" "I delivered this pizza late on purpose!" "This time I'm really smoking." "TRENCHCOAT MAFIA IS REALLY THE GREENWICH POSSE!" "Let's do something stoopid with our dicks." "Here comes another shit fart." "Are those 18-inch dicks real?" "Clinton represents broken washing machines." "Are you a Pizza Girl?" "Do those guys really have 2 dicks?" "I am a penis!" "I've also been having this fear lately that I'm about to jump off a cliff." "Men, the fictional story you are about to hear is true." "Bi-fuck a cat!" "Suddenly I have this craving for low-grade metal." "I just shaved my pubic hair." "I shit the bed!" Act now and get the all-time great: "What do you think of my dick?" And many more! Call 1-800-YOU SUCK and get 500 hits for only $5.00 worth of sanity! Call now if you can't stand this troll posting shit anymore! Operators are standing by. ------------------END TRANSMISSION-------------------- Hmmm...someone decided to advertise Rob Cypher's garbage. It won't sell. On another channel... Ash: Pika-chuuu? Where ARE you?! *Music kicks in and the theme plays* Pika Pika-chu, where are you? We've got some work to do now....Pika Pika-chu, where are you? We need some Heeelp from you now.... Cool. Switch... Ash: OK, Pikachu, what have you done this time? (Pikachu says nothing, has a sneaky smile on face) Misty: Come on, out with it! (Pikachu still says nothing, looks at them as if to say, "Who, me?") Brock: Don't give us that look. Now spill it! (Pikachu is still silent.) Ash (voice wavering slightly): Pikachu, you're ticking me off. (Pikachu giggles sneakily. Ash, Misty, and Brock are trembling from anger, frustration, and fear.) Ash: What have you done? (Pikachu smiles deviously. Ash, Misty, and Brock finally snap.) All: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE??? (Ash starts to cry in frustration, Misty is close to tears, and Brock is about to strangle Pikachu) Pikachu's thoughts: I love mental games. Cool...They re-did that old "Garfield" comic. Let's see what's on this channel...(12:35am) Imagine the Pikachu Death Metal Song. The band comes on stage, clad in spiked armour swathed in body paint. Pikachu waddles on after them Pikachu: "PIIIIIIKAA PIKA!!!!" Now THAT'S cool!!!! The video clip would involve Pikachu running through a mall, breaking windows, setting stuff alight, electrocuting people and raping bikes. (You didn't hear the last part.) So this is what VH1 plays when they think no one's watching...Woah. Now how about The Tower of Terror ep: "Ghostbusters theme" Now a music video for that would kick ass! "Who ya gonna call? Brock: "Me! Please! I'm desparate!" -someone from AGNP whom I don't remember. "Funny...I don't remember being absent minded." Rule #3: Never tickle a Pikachu. And why is that?...Nevermind-I think I know.;-) Woah...pretty weird. *blinks, then realizes she has no clue where the hell she is* Man...I'm really stoned. Another informercial That's right, you'll get all of your favorites on one (that's right, ONE) 8-track cassette There's.... ~~~~time to get a new (fill in the blank) And don't forget ~~~~you have been reported to (fill in the blank) And everyone's favorite ~~~~let me know when you (fill in the blank) Act now and you'll recieve this all time great ~~~~learn how to spell (fill in blank) you idiot And you'll also get the Special Edition tape with unreleased tracks like............ ~~~~~ When you can post above the level of a (fill in the blank) year-old retard, let me know. ~~~~~When you come up with a real price, let me know ~~~~~Why the hell do you keep posting this? Get lost, jerk. ~~~~~Your ISP has been notified of your off topic posts. ~~~~~Don't cry because you suck. ~~~~~I can still use(fill in the blank) correctly ~~~~~Pay attention. Yours are off topic. And last but not least the best one yet..... ~~~~~Since you wouldn't know a point if it raped you up the ass, I'll take his over yours, moron. Time to come up with a real argument. Call now and get the extended version of: "Why did you post this twice, Idiot?" w/ special guests Lastomar and Blargg. So come on. What are you waiting for? Show your love by replying to this post and clocking in if you can't stand this little kids stupid crap anymore. Operators are standing by.. sign here...............*snappdad* Man, someone else selling newsgroup junk-wait a minute, it's not available on cassette or compact disc? Damn, that sucks! Later...(1:00am) It's the middle of the night. I wake up to the sound of my radio, which has been left on. I reach over to turn the volume down, and-woah, what was that running across the floor? A mouse! I'm half asleep, so my mind isn't really all there..."There you are, Pikachu!" What the...did I really just yell that out? Man, I gotta start going to bed earlier! Top 10 reasons Scooby-Doo was a drug cartoon 1. Scooby and Shaggy were always being freaked out by ghosts and ghouls, but no one else saw them before Scoob and Shaggy. 2. Scooby and Shaggy always had the munchies. 3. Shaggy always thought Scooby was talking and was the only one who could hear him and understand him. 4. Scooby and Shaggy always fell into the trap that was intended for the monster because they were tripping over themselves and couldn't see where they were going. 5. They were always deluded and warped by thinking they were dressed up in some costumes and entertained the monster. 6. Shaggy always said "like" to the extreme, i.e. "like ZOIKS, Scoob, let's get outta here!!" What's a zoik? 7. Scooby and Shaggy were always the ones in the back of the van (doing who knows what). 8. They drove around in the MYSTERY MACHINE, which had that weird trippy design on it's side. 9. Shaggy and Scooby were always giddy and laughing. 10. Look at Shaggy; the way he dressed, his goatee, etc., 'nuff said. Well, this would explain the goings-on on the show, but the whole thing's still kinda ridiculous. I mean, it's a CARTOON, for cryin out loud! Cartoons follow their own set of rules and logic! "If a politician says something in the forest and no one's around to hear it, is he still lying?" War doesn't determine who's right. It just determines who's left. The characters on Pokémon are not role models. They're not even human. They're cartoons. Some of the things they do could cause a person to get hurt, expelled, arrested, possibly deported. To put it another way, don't try this at home. Brock: So, what you're saying is, we can act like total maniacs but our loyal viewers can't? (winks at the camera) Executive: Well, yes. Ash: YEAH! We can do all the things they never let us do before! Misty: Are you thinking... Ash:...what I'm thinking? Pikachu: Pika.... Brock: Yeah. James: You know what to do. Jessie: You bet. Meowth: Yup. All: PARTY TIME!!!!!!! In a few minutes, the exceutive's office has become an orgy of swearing, food fights, Pokémon battles, singing, removal of shirts, and other assorted mischief. Executive: Like I said, kids...don't try this at home. (sighs heavily as he is smacked in the head with a tomato.) I guess Beavis and Butt-Head had a bigger influence that I thought... Garfield is no cat! He's a new Pokémon species! Really? Woah... *Classical music in background, slow stoned voice:* Don't you ever wonder what life would be like? ... Nostalgia isn't what is used to be. Ever stop to think...and then forget to start again? People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. People who live in glass houses should always wear pants. Enoryt666=idiot This should be interesting... Sing to the tune of "Camp Grenada" That guy Enoryt... is a loser His mom's a slut... his wife's a boozer And his daughter's... not much of a chooser If Tyrone ain't careful he might go and lose her! All his posts are... irritating All his corrections... clearly stating That the geek's life... is slowly fading In grammar he must have perfect ratings! BAN HIM NOW! Oh AOL please TURN HIM DOWN! All ISP's Must really detest That annoying little pest ROT IN HECK! You stupid gay fag PAIN IN NECK! Jump in a garbage bag... And go to the dump... where you belong chump. Cool song. What's on the news at this hour?(1:30am) Celine Dion caught FINGERING HER VAGINA! Celine Dion busted in Hardee's. The pop superstar was caught today in the fast food resturaunt Hardee's fondling her genitals. She was in a stall all to herself with her skirt lifted to her not so big breasts. She was busted by a Hardee's employee. The employee was going to clean the restroom up some and didn't think anyone was in there. She walked in to the last stall to find Celine in the stall with her legs spread wide open. Each leg was up against the wall. Her feet were holding her in place on the toilet. She had her whole hand in her vagina. The Hardee's employee ran out of the restroom laughing and screaming, "Celine Dion is in the ladies' room playing with her pussy." Everyone ran in to the bathroom to find Celine was in the middle of climax. She exploded and big chunks of cum went flying everywhere. Talk about sexual frustration. Celine needs to get some a little more often. Celine put her skirt down and walked away like nothing had happened. The Hardee's employees just stood there in the bathroom with cum chunks hanging off their clothes and faces. The end...........YEAH!!!!! That was a strange news report. I guess they save all the off-color news for later at night when they think everyone's asleep. And that was a good one. Celine Dion sorta sucks. Let's see what's on PAX-TV What the hell is this? A Pokémon/Brady Kids/Fritz the Cat crossover Ash, Misty, and Brock are walking down a road. The Brady Kids are headed in the opposite direction. Suddenly, they walk right into each other. All: Hey! Watch it! Ash: Why don't you watch where you're going, moron? Greg: I was just gonna ask you the same thing, idiot! Misty: No one calls Ash and idiot except me! *Togepi jumps into Misty's backpack* Misty: Oh, great. Now you scared Togepi! Ash: You stay the hell out of this! Marcia: Oh, so you're a male chauvenist now, are you? Peter: Shut up with the damn feminist crap, Marcia! Brock: Leave the girl alone, you wuss! Bobby: Shut up! Ash: Make me! Pikachu: Pika! Pikachu! Ash: Way to piss Pikachu off! Cindy: What's it gonna do? Misty: Oh, you don't want to know. Peter: Like that thing can really hurt us. Brock: It can. Believe me, it can. Jan: I'd like to see it try. Come on, you little rat! Do your worst! Brock: Now you've done it. Jan: What's it gonna do? Ash: Pikachu! Thundershock! *Pikachu's cheeks spark, and he thundershocks everyone* Bobby: Woah-that mouse is tougher than he looks. Marcia: Nice going, Jan. You had to open your big mouth. Jan: Shut the fuck up. Misty: Now, are you ready to apologize? Cindy: Us? It's all your fault! Ash: No way! Peter: Yes way! Brock: Wankers! Greg: Assholes! *They fight for at least 15 minutes until everyone is sprawled out on the ground, almost out of breath* Ash: Damn. There's go to be a better way to settle this thing. Jan: One that's less painful. Cindy: I will if they will. Misty: Same here . Greg: OK, on 3. One, two, three. All: Sorry. *they slap hands* Bobby: That mouse kicks ass! Ash: His name is Pikachu. Jan: Where did he learn to electrocute people like that? Brock: Pikachu is an electric pokémon. All pokémon either know or can learn attacks. And Pikachu seems to know that one naturally. Cindy: Cool! What was that other one that hid in your backpack, Misty? Misty: His name is Togepi.*takes Togepi out of her backpack* Marcia: He's so cute! Togepi: Brriiii! Peter: Does he know any attacks? Ash: Not yet. He's still young. Brock: Most Pokémon don't learn attacks until they get older, unless they're really gifted. They know some attacks naturally, and they improve as they gain more experience. Marcia: Wow! You sure know a lot about pokémon, Brock. Brock: Well, I am studying to be the world's best pokémon breeder. *Brock and Marcia stare at each other dreamily* Others: Oh, boy. Ash: Let's head over to that newsstand and hang out. Jan: Cool. *they head over to empty the newsstand and sit down* Cindy: So Ash, do you have any other pokémon besides Pikachu? Ash: Pikachu was my first pokémon, but I have 4 more.*calls out Bulbasuar, Squirtle, Charizard, and Pidgeotto* Cindy: Wow! Where did you get them all? Ash: I caught Pidgeotto. Bulbasaur was kinda given to me, Squirtle followed me, and Charizard-then Charmander-was abandoned by his old trainer. Peter: So Charizard used to be Charmander? Misty: Charmander is one of those pokémon that evolve thorugh experience. He started as Charmander, then evolved into Charmeleon. Brock: And the pokémon you're looking at now in Charizard. Greg: Does he evolve after that? Ash: Nope. Bobby: Will Pikachu evolve? Ash: Pikachu usually evolves into Raichu with the help of the thunderstone, but Pikachu didn't want to evolve. Marcia: Isn't it your choice whether or not you evolve your pokémon? Ash: Well, you also have to consider the pokémon's feelings. I left it up to Pikachu, and he decided not to evolve. And I respected his decision. Pikachu: Pika.*squeezes Ash's arm* Jan: Ash, you have such a good heart. You'll be a great Pokemon trainer.*puts her arm around him* Ash: Thanks. (thinking) Jan sure is pretty. And really nice. She'd be one hell of a trainer herself. *Just then, Peter sees the cover of a weird-looking magazine* Peter: Woah! What the fuck is that? *everyone turns around to look* Misty: Looks like one of those porno mags. But the models look like video game characters. Cindy: Wait a minute-they are video game characters! Greg: Well, they're awfully sexy for video game chicks. Ash: You know, Greg, you remind me of a certain someone. Greg: Hugh Heffner? Misty: Nope. This person's a lot younger. Ash: You know who you are.*grins sneakily* Brock: Uhh-I have no idea who the fuck you're talking about. Marcia: I think I know... Jan: Why didn't I see it before? Brock's a slightly older version of Greg! *everyone laughs except Greg and Brock* Brock&Greg: Woah... *at that moment, 2 figures appear in from of them* "To protect the world from devastation!" "To unite all people within our nation!" "To denounce the evils of truth and love!" "To extend our reach to the stars above!" "Jessie!" "James!" "Team Rocket blasts off at the speed of light!" "Surrender now or prepare to fight!" "Meowth! That's right!" Ash: Not them! Get the fuck outta here or else! Marcia: And just who the hell are you people? Jessie: You must be the queen of dumb blondes! Didn't you hear a word we said? James: We're here to get that Pikachu! Jan: I don't appreciate what you just said about dumb blondes, dickhead! Misty: Don't bother. They just want Pikachu, and that's it. Peter: Why do they want Pikachu so badly? Brock: They're convinced that Ash's Pikachu is special-more poweful than any other Pikachu. Bobby: Man! Jessie: When we show that Pikachu to the boss, he'll be so impressed! James: Then he'll be sure to promote us! Ash: Well, you can forget those plans, because you can't have Pikachu! Misty: Now get the hell outta here! James: Not without Pikachu.*looks at Marcia*Hey, babe, going my way?*starts to put a hand on her chest* Marcia: Fuck off! *removes his hand from her chest* Brock: Yeah. She wants me. Jessie: Told you that dumb line would fail, even on a blonde. *James smacks her* Jessie: Why, you little prick!*slaps him* James: Cunt!*slaps her back* Meowth: No wonder you guys always screw up! You're too busy goofing off! *Jessie and James kick him* Cindy: And they think they're so great.*shakes her head* Jan: Didn't I tell you those blonde jokes were lame? Greg: Get the hell outta here or get your asses kicked! Jessie&James: Make us! *At the moment, the kids' dog and bird show up* Peter: Mop Top! Marlon! Where the hell were you guys 40 minutes ago? Marlon: You're asking us? Mop Top: You forgot us! Cindy: OK, sorry. But now we could use your help. Misty: Are you guys pokémon? *Ash flips open his Pokédex* Dexter: No pokémon have been identified. Ash: That's strange. Greg: We're from a different cartoon. Brock: I figured that. Jessie: We haven't got all day! James: Let's fight! Ash: I choose you! Bulbasaur! Misty: Starmie, I choose you! Brock: Zubat, go! Marcia: Mop Top, sick 'em! Bobby: Go get 'em, Marlon! *Pikachu runs out. Jessie and James call out Arbok and Weezing* Ash: There's no way you'll win. Meowth: Oh, really? *Mop Top barks loudly at Meowth* Meowth: What a dumb stereotype! Not all cats are scared of dogs! Misty: Cut the chit chat so we can kick your asses! Jessie: Dream on! *They battle for a few minutes, and it looks like Ash&co are winning* Ash: Give up yet? James: Never! *At that moment, a car drives up and stops right there* All: What the... *Fritz the cat steps out* Fritz: Well, looks like we got ourselves some groovy chicks. Marcia: Fritz the Cat? Misty: Who's he? Greg: The star of the 1972 X-rated cartoon flick. Brock: X-rated? Cool! James: You mind? We're trying to fight. Fritz: Don't be a square, man. Jan: What do you want? Fritz: You.*winks* Jan: Idiot. I'm only 13! Fritz: Hey, I'm open minded. I'll take any one of you 3.*looks at Marcia, Jan, and Jessie* Meowth: Hmmm...Maybe I could use a few lessons from that cool cat. *James smacks him* Ash: Get outta here, sleazeball! Misty: Or do you want to hit on me and Cindy even though we're 10? Bobby: You're 10? I thought you were 12. Misty: I just look older. Peter: A lot of 10-year-olds can look 12. It's not that unusual. Cindy: No point in continuing the fight now. Jessie: He'll never leave. *they all glare at Fritz* Fritz: OK, I'll leave. no skin off my balls. *Drives off* Ash: I thought he'd never leave. Jessie: Now, where were we? Brock: We were just about to kick your asses. *At that moment, Cypher shows up* Ash: Is that who I think it is? Jan: I have no idea what he looks like. I just know he sucks ass. Cypher: Are you a Pizza Girl? All: It's him!!! Marcia: And just when we thought he was gone! Cypher: Selling LSD is murder! Brock: Duh! Cindy: Damn troll. Cypher: Children are born homo fight for their rights! Peter: Now that made no fucking sense! Jan: Just like all the other shit he posts on Usenet. Cypher: Clinton represents whores! Ash: Dammit, who cares? Bobby: Go to hell, you sicko! Cypher: It's hard to write when you're high! James: I'll bet it is. Now shut the fuck up! Cypher: I delivered this pizza late on purpose. *all groan* Brock: Everyone come over here. We have to come up with a plan. *they all gather* Brock: We've got a troll situation here. The only way to stop Cypher is to band together. Greg: That's right. We have to put our differences aside just for now and stop him Jan: Even Team Rocket? Ash: Even Team Rocket. Jessie: I guess that's fine with me. James: Fine with me. Brock: All right. The idea is to act like all of Cypher's remarks are a big joke. Act like you're taking him seriously, then laugh. "Good for you" answers are also good. Peter: Good plan. Now let's get out there and kick some ass!*all slap hands* All: Yeah! *They walk back to where they were standing before. Cypher is playing with himself* Marcia: Gross! He's such a freakin' pervert! Bobby: I hope this plan works. Cypher: AHH!! I'M NUDE! Ash: Really? We thought you just had flesh-colored clothes on! *all laugh* Cyhper: Let's do something stoopid with our dicks. Guys: Let's not! Cypher: Do those guys really have 2 dicks? Greg: Why? You jealous? *all laugh except Cypher* Jessie: Good comebck! For a 16-year-old. Cypher: This time I'm really smoking! Misty: The question is, what? *laughing resumes* Cypher: Clinton represents broken washing machines! Marcia: I'll bet he does. Now shut up and let me read this newspaper-well, I'll be damned! It's true! James: You mean Clinton really represents broken washing machines? Ash(slapping his forehead): And all this time I thought it was just a rumor! I'm an idiot! *all laugh* Cypher: What movie has that ice dildo scene? Cindy: Hmm...I can't seem to think of it. Any of you guys remember?*looks at her siblings* Peter: "Forrest Gump"? *laughing resumes* Brock: Damn! I was gonna say "There's something about Mary"! Misty: No, that was the movie was the semen-for-hairgel scene. Ash(smacking her): Don't give the troll ideas! Pikachu: Pika pi pikachu pi pi ka cha pikapikachu! Mop Top: The mouse is right! He probably uses the stuff in his own hair! *laughing resumes* Jan: Really? I thought his hair was just greasy! Brock(shuddering): Ugh. Don't make me sick. Cypher: I just shaved my pubic hair! James(pounding his hand with his fist): Thanks for stealing my idea! Peter: What do you mean? It was my idea! Marcia: It's funny how stuff get around. It was originally my idea, get that, MY idea.*sticks her nose in the air and sniffs* Jessie: No! It was my idea. You hear? The idea was M-I-N-E mine, mine, mine! Marcia: Tramp! Jessie: Bitch! *they stage a catfight complete with bitch-slaps, hair-pulling, hissing, and scratching* Greg: Now stop that! It doesn't matter who's idea it was, just that it was*everyone except Cypher joins in*STUPID! *all laugh* Ash: Man, that was a great catfight! Misty: Even better than on Melrose Place! Bobby: Yech! Melrose! Cyhper: Are those 18-inch dicks real? Ash: You know, I've been curious about the same thing. Cindy: Guess it's just one of those eternal questions. Brock: If a tree falls in the forest and no one's around to hear it, does it make a sound? Jan: If a man pulls his finger in the forest and no one's around to hear it, does he still fart? *all laugh* Cypher: Clinton represents the chicken! Misty: Yeah, we've known that for awhile. Greg: Misty, I'd check this headline if i were you.*hands her a newspaper* Misty: What the...It's just a rumor? Oh, fuck! I don't believe it! Bobby: Damn tabloids! They really know how to make a person look stupid! James: All the media sees us as are gullible fools. Cypher: AHH!!! I'M NUDE! Second try. Peter: Yeah, yeah, we noticed. Ash: Second try? What the hell's that supposed to mean? Brock: Nothing. He's just being stupid. Cyhper: I raped a Chevy pickup truck! Jan: Your luck with women's that bad, huh? Greg: He must be really pathetic to go that far. Most people fuck chickens or other farm animals if they can't get a chick . Jessie: Or in our cartoon, pokémon. Marlon: And I thought that was sad. Ash(laughing): But this guy can't even get a chicken! He has to rape a truck! Now that's pathetic! *everyone laughs* Cypher: Suddenly I have this craving for low grade metal. Marcia: You too? I've had that same craving for 3 days now. Must be getting my period or something. *all the guys groan* Peter: I hate when girls talk about that! Brock: You're telling me? Jan(smacking Marcia upside the head): Dammit, Marcia, don't mention that stuff in front of the troll! Marcia: Well, sorry! Cypher: Men, the fictional story you are about to hear is true. Misty: Now that makes no sense! Bobby: Fictional story is true? How is that possible? Cypher: Here comes another shit fart. *everyone groans* Greg: Ugh! What the fuck are you trying to do, you sicko, gross the hell outta everyone?*shudders* Jessie: Isn't it obvious? Ash: What a sicko! Cypher: I've also been having this fear lately that I'm about to jump off a cliff. Brock: Confront that fear! Find a cliff. Stand on the edge. See if you jump off! Cindy: Wouldn't it be great if he really did? James: Silly little girl. You know that wishes never come true. Cindy: Only half the time. Cypher: Bi-fuck a cat! Meowth: Why, you sick bastard! I'll kill you, you good for nothing prick!*starts scratching the hell out of Cypher* Jessie&James: Meowth, no! *they run over and pull their cat off of Cypher* Meowth: You're helping the troll!? Jessie: No, we just don't want you covered with his germs! James: Especially if he's got VD. Cypher: I am a penis! Ash: Hey, jerkwad, you mispronounced "prick"! *everyone laughs* Misty(whispering): I'll bet he doesn't even have a penis. *all snicker* Bobby: I'm not sure if I can hold out much longer. His cracks are becoming sicker every minute! Marcia: Just hang in there . Cypher: Trenchcoat Mafia is really the Greenwich Posse! Peter: Oh, jeez, why the hell did you have to mention them? They suck! Misty(groaning and doubling over): Ohhh...my freakin' appendix! The troll...is...making me...sick.*groans loudly*Must...kill...Rob...Cypher.*pretends to pass out* Ash: Oh, no! Come on, Misty, breathe! Brock: I have a pulse. Come on, Misty, we can just killfile the idiot and you'll survive. Jan: We can't killfile, remember? We use AOL. Others: NOOO!!!! Misty: You'll...pay for this...Rob...Cypher.*pretends to die* Guys: Oh My God! You killed Misty! Girls: You bastards! *Cypher sneaks over to Misty and tries to grab her. Just then, Misty jumps up and smacks him* Grge(laughing): Oh, man, that was funny! Jessie: It didn't really hurt him, though. He's just kinda stunned. Cypher: What do you think of my dick? All: It sucks! Jan: And it's too small! James: How do you know? You didn't... Jan: I talked to this girl he used to sleep with. She told me everything. James: I see. Cypher: I shit the bed! *everyone groans, shudders, and looks like they're going to puke* Cindy: Oh, now that was the last straw! Ash: Now it's personal! *they all surround him* Cindy: Rob Cypher, you are a... Brock:Lamer Greg:Flamer Marcia:Troll Peter:Idiot Jan:Moron Ash:Spammer Misty:Sicko Bobby:Loser Cindy:Freak James:Satanist Jessie:Pervert 1-2-3... All:PLONK! *all the pokémon and pets beat the hell out of Cypher.Togepi hands him a slip of paper. It reads"You have been reported to Usenet and abuse@aol.net.Have a nice day.* Cypher: I'll be going now.*runs like hell* All: YES!!!! We got rid of him! Misty: Now what? Jessie: Well, we almost got Pikachu! James: So hand him over! Meowth: It's been a long day. Can't we go back and figure out a better plan ? Jessie&James: OK. Bye. Others: Bye! Ash: Well, they helped get rid of the lamer. Brock: Another rare occasion where Team Rocket is good for something. Cindy: Let's go hang out at the arcade! Others: Yeah! They head to the arcade. --End-- Cool! So this is what the "Friend of the family" shows when they think no one's watching...;-) One day, a programmer who knew he was going to get laid off by Nintendo was at a bar drinking. He returned home, and seeing that he had one drink too many, he had a very odd dream that involved weird creatures that battled each other. This is how Satoshi came up with the concept of Pokémon. To think, if it weren't for alcohol, none of us would be here right now! *too tired to comment* "I just got lost in thought...it was an unfamiliar territory." I'd better get some sleep. Otherwise I'll be stoned clear through Monday! ;-| ----------------SIGNING OFF-------------