"The tragedy of a dramatic love" or "The perils of writing a melodramatic Mary Sue fanfic" by Sara Jaye Wow, 2 in a row! XD I wrote this one out of sheer boredom, though. It's stupid, it's cliched, it's utterly annoying and embarassing, it's tacky...in short, it sucks. The only good thing about it is that it's just stupid enough to be funny in a twisted sort of way. I am NOT a Mary Sue or a Mary Sue wannabe. I wrote this to make fun of some of the really stupid FY Mary Sues I've seen. While I adore the character of Amiboshi, I don't want to insert myself into the book and have passionate, flaming makeout sessions with him. Suboshi would get jealous. ^_~ I'll stop rambling now. ^_^; [Amiboshi and all the other FY chars aint mine, they belong to Watase Yuu. I'm just borrowing them. This is a very bad parody of a Mary Sue fic. It contains loads of pathetic cliches, melodrama, and violence. If you don't like this sort of thing or you ARE a self-insertion author who would be offended by this, leave. You've been warned.] ~ It was another boring, run-of-the-mill day in Kutou. Amiboshi idly sat outside playing his flute, when all of a sudden, he heard someone scream! "Yui? Miaka-sama? Soi?" He stopped playing and ran to the aid of whoever it was, being the kind-hearted sort. It wasn't his miko, his love, or his fellow Seishi, though. He'd never seen this girl in his life! She was tall, with a beautiful hour- glass figure, satiny auburn hair, violet eyes, garnet-stained lips, and a great pair of boobs. She wore a pair of curve-hugging blue pants, a tied-off denim shirt with a snug silver tube top underneath, and black leather boots. Gods, she was beautiful! Amiboshi ran to her immediately, and saw that she'd tripped over a random corpse and twisted her ankle! "Miss! Are you okay?" "Yeah...I think so. OW!" The beautiful young woman tried to pick herself up off the ground. "Let me help you!" Amiboshi placed his flute in the holster and took the girl's hand. "Okay, now just pull yourself up slowly, miss..." He trailed off, realizing he'd not learned her name. "Mariisuu," the girl said. Her voice was like a beautiful siren! "Such a lovely name! Okay, Mariisuu, now just stand up slowly..." Mariisuu began to get up, but screamed in pain. "Oww! My ankle!" she cried. "You can't stand on it at all?" Amiboshi asked. Mariisuu tried again, and was met with the same searing pain. "Here..." Amiboshi helped Mariisuu up and let her lean on him. Though she was several inches taller than he was, and he was eye-level with her breasts, they seemed perfect together. "Thank you...no man's ever been this kind to me before. Usually they're all morons," Mariisuu giggled. "Well, anything for a lovely creature as you, Mariisuu-san." They walked back to a small cabin, where Amiboshi kept a first aid kit. He gently began to clean and bandage her swollen ankle. "Just stay off that leg for the rest of the day and you'll be on the road to recovery fast," he said. Mariisuu blushed, her violet eyes sparkling. She'd never met a boy so kind in her life! He was so handsome...those deep brown eyes of his spoke to her in a language stronger than anything, his smile was so sincere! Amiboshi himself was overcome with emotion. He'd never felt this way about anyone since Miaka! Mariisuu was so kind, so demure, so...so perfect! He barely knew her, anything about her, but he could tell how special she was. After several long moments of silence and awkwardness and angst and some- such, Mariisuu spoke. "I heard you playing earlier." "What?" "Your song. It's beautiful..." She trailed off, realizing she didn't know his name. "I'm so stupid...I never caught your name!" "Nah, I just didn't throw it. I'm Amiboshi." "Amiboshi...nice name." Mariisuu giggled. "Of course, since you're such a nice guy." Amiboshi blushed 7 shades of red. "Oh, stop it!" "I mean it." "Well, you are the most beautiful girl I've ever seen, not to mention the most sincere." Now Mariisuu blushed. "Oh, you're too kind!" The next few days went by. Mariisuu's ankle slowly got better, she and the handsome young flute player got to know each other more, and when she was able to stand on her ankle, she repaid his kindness by doing the chores around the cabin whenever she could. The other Seiryuu Seishi were becoming suspicious of Amiboshi and all the time he spent at this cabin, especially his brother. He didn't dare tell them about his new love! What if Nakago or someone else fell for her? And the Suzaku Seishi were even worse-yeah, the one named Nuriko was gay, but ya never know! One night, Mariisuu and Amiboshi were stargazing when the angst hit them again. 'How can I tell her I've fallen deeply in love with her?' 'How can I tell him I love him?' After several moments of unbearable silence and angsting, Amiboshi spoke. "Mariisuu, I have a confession to make. Even though we've only known one another for a few days...I love you!" "Oh, Amiboshi! I feel the same way!" "Mariisuu!" "Amiboshi!" Overjoyed, their lips met in a passionate, flaming liplock. 'Gods, her lips taste so good!' Amiboshi thought, tasting the pineapple- cherry lipgloss she wore. He ran his fingers through her long, luxurious hair. 'He's so masterful!' Mariisuu thought as she felt Amiboshi's tongue enter her mouth. Most guys were horrible at french-kissing, but he was a natural! Meanwhile, the rest of the Seiryuu Seishi, their miko, plus the Suzaku Seishi and THEIR miko just happened to be walking by the cabin when they heard moans of "Oh, Amiboshi!" "Oh, Mariisuu!" Curious, they decided to see what the hell was going on. Suboshi wanted to meet this mystery woman his brother was so enamoured with! Nakago signaled for Nuriko to break down the door. Suddenly, Amiboshi and Mariisuu found their wild, passionate makeout session interrupted! The angry men soon found themselves hopelessly attracted to Mariisuu as they laid eyes on her. Of course, Mariisuu, being a major flirt, teased them, but Amiboshi didn't care, since he knew that she loved him and only him. The girls initially hated her guts, but her influence was so strong they soon wanted to be her best friend cause she was so cool! Suddenly (again), a fight broke out! Nakago decided he was in love with Mariisuu (much to the horrified anger of Soi and Tomo!) and instigated a battle! Then everyone joined in. Of course, Mariisuu was discovered to have amazing powers! She immediately joined the fight, determined to protect her one true love Amiboshi. The fight wore on, even as it was suddenly located to a battlefield. When it was coming to a head, it was Nakago vs. Amiboshi. Nakago ran at Amiboshi with his sword drawn...but Mariisuu wasn't going to allow this! The only way to stop Nakago was to use her power to the max, but doing so would surely kill her! "No! You can't do this, please reconsider, Mariisuu!" everyone cried, not wanting their new idol to kill herself. But being the noble, selfless girl she was, Mariisuu silently stepped in front of Amiboshi. A bright light surrounded her as she began to glow. She raised her hands, forming an orb of pure white energy. "Goodbye, everyone..." she whispered. The blast of energy hit Nakago and killed him. When it was over, the light faded. Mariisuu gave a weak smile, then fell to the ground, lifeless. "NOOOOO! MARIISUUUUUUUU!" Amiboshi ran to her side, eyes overflowing like rivers. "My love! Why?!" "For you, Amiboshi...my love..." "Mariisuu..." "Don't ever forget me." Amiboshi leaned forward to kiss her garnet lips once more. "Goodbye." She was gone. Everyone mourned the tragic loss of their beloved friend Mariisuu. Grief-stricken, Amiboshi swore never to love again. A week later, he killed himself with Nakago's sword. Suboshi mourned the loss of his brother and went insane, ultimately flinging himself from a cliff. Soi and Yui fell in love, but fate tore them apart. Soi was killed in battle, and Yui died a bitter, lonely old woman. Nuriko died. Hotohori married, and soon after, died himself. The rest...who knows what happened to them. The end. Psyche. Sara: *stepping out of the dead Mary Sue image* You didn't really think I was gonna leave it like THAT, did ya? *dusts herelf off* Gah, that felt kinda gross. The things I do just for a good parody. Suboshi: So...this means you aren't dating my brother? Sara: Yeah. No offense, Amiboshi. You're great and I like ya a lot, but you're 15...you're better off with a girl your are. Amiboshi: And your lip gloss tasted like wax. With sugar. Sara: Yeah, I know. Sorry I made you all act in this annoying thing. Nuriko: Well, we're used to your screwed up mind by now. Sara: You're not still mad about the bath scene, are you, Nuriko? Nuriko: Not mad. Just...embarassed! Hotohori-sama was very out of character in that scene! Hotohori: You really don't know me very well then, Nuri-chan. ^_~ Nuriko: ...Hotohori-sama! @_@ *blushes 7 shades of red* Yui and Tasuki: And Sara? Sara: Yes? Yui and Tasuki: KILL HIM/HER OFF IN THE NEXT CHAPTER OF MST3.5 OR ELSE! Sara: O_o Okay...I'll call ya back, right now I'm going to work on my English homework before anyone else comes after me. *snaps her fingers and is transported back to the real world* Miaka: ...What an odd young woman. Tasuki: Yeah, but she's all right. You have to admire her, being so unique. Soi: Plus she knows how to use grammar and doesn't write in script format. Chiriko: ...Aren't we talking in script format right now? Tamahome: Yeah, but this isn't like a serious story, parodies and MSTs are all right. Chiriko: Ah. Amiboshi: ...So...anyone wanna play a game of poker? Others: Sure. *They leave* -End- TV announcer guy: The preceeding fanfic was written for a reason. To display the danger of writing melodramatic Mary Sue fanfics. If you have a character fall in love with your Mary Sue, kill your Mary Sue, then have the character be so in love with her that he commits suicide, you will ruin a lot of lives. Trust me. So in short, Mary Sues are dangerous. Thank you, and goodnight. ~The REAL End~ Wasn't that annoying? ;P I swear, I only wrote this thing because I was bored. ^_^;; Apologies to any self-insert authors I offended. It's nothing personal, I'm just weird.