I was inspired to write this after reaidng about the cut eps of Pokemon and the reasons they were cut. I'm also including stuff that might have or could have been cut out of the eps shown in the states. Note: The followng scene may or may not have happened. I just needed an opening. ___________________________________________________________________ Ash, Misty, and Brock are running like hell from a wild Rhydon, and it is slowly gaining on them. As they run towards a nearby cave, Pikachu falls over. As Ash helps him up, the Rhydon is coming closer. Brock and Misty run over to help them, and then realize they are trapped. All: We're in big trouble now! Pikachu: Pika!!! Ash: Oh, fuck! *Rhydon stpes closer* Director: Cut, cut! Brock: What's worng? Director: You know perfectly well what's wrong. Ash just said the f-word! Ash: So? Director: So? That's not allowed on TV! If you use that language, this episode will never be shown in the states! Misty: It's just a word. It's not like he gutted someone. Brock: Yeah! Some people just have no sense of humor. Director: Well, that kind of language isn't allowed on TV. Sorry. Pikachu: Pika! Pikachu! Ash: Well, I think we have the right to say whatever we want, censors or no censors! In fact, screw the censors! Misty: Yeah! Screw the censors! Brock: The damn censors suck! All: Fuck censorship! Fuck censorship! Fuck censorship! *TV censor walks in.* Censor: I'm sorry, but I'll have to ask you to stop that right now. You see, this show has a TV-Y rating for a reason. Brock: And what reason is that? Censor: Well, because there's no strong language, sexual situations, or excessive violence. Misty: You think today's kids don't see enough of that in real life? What is with you people trying to save the children from the real world? You won't let them watch shows where they say words like "bitch" or "hell"-when they are real words-, the violence might give them bad ideas, and they're too young to know that facts of life! How stupid is that? Ash: I know! It's like you think kids are so damn stupid they'll imitate any damn thing they see on TV! News flash, bonehead: We're NOT that gullible! Most of us know that difference between right and wrong! Brock: You even have to make shows for people my age as clean as possible, or we'll get a bad message about sex, drugs, and violence! They only time you don't totally censor things is on those afterschool specials, and they suck! Pikachu: PikaPikaChu! Censor: Why do you children use such vile language????? Ash: What did we say now? Censor: Let me see: You said "bitch", "hell", "damn"-twice, I believe-, "suck", and "sex". Brock: And what is so bad about those words? *Jessie and James enter* Jessie: To protect the world from-what the hell is going on here?? James: At this rate we'll never get to our scene, you prick! Meowth: Assholes. Director: Well, we've got a problem right now. And you've just made it worse. Jessie&James: What? Censor: Well, as I was just explaining to Brock, Ash, and Misty here, we can't allow use of that language on or off camera. Misty: Oh, just shut up and let us continue filming this episode! Director: Yes, can we?? Censor: Very well. Director: Ok, places! And action! *The Rhydon resumes advancing towards the gang.* All: We're in big trouble now! Pikachu: Pika! Ash: Oh, darn it! Director: And cut to commercial! Perfect! I like how you toned down the language! Ash: Thank you. Now about that 'no-cursing-on-or-off-camera thing...I know we can't curse on camera. But why the fuck can't we do it off camera? Censor: Young man, watch it! Brock: Why? The fucking camera's not rolling! Censor: Well, I like to keep it as clean as possible while filming a kids' show. James: That's the stupidest thing I ever heard, you idiot! Jessie: Tell me about it! Misty: Sometimes the people in the censor business can be such cunts! Censor: What was that, young lady?? Ash: You heard here, asshole! Pikachu: Pika-fuck! Ash: Huh? Pikachu just said his first real word! He can curse! Brock: Wow! Cool! Meowth: He musta learnt it from yours truly. Censor: See? You're setting bad examples for your Pokemon now! Jessie: Well, they are. Meowth can swear on his own, no *bad* trainers needed. *looks at Ash, Misty, and Brock* Togepi (from Misty's backpack): Togepi! Togepi! Misty: Oh, good. Togepi's awake. Ash: He slept through most of this shit? Censor: I am warning you, Ash Ketchum! You watch your language! Ash: Screw you. Togepi: Toge? Misty: We're just having a fight with the TV cnesors. Nothing too serious. Brock: Now, what was that you said about us being bad trainers, you cunt? Jessie: What did you call me???? James: Well, for Pikachu to learn that language, you people must be pretty nasty. Misty: What the fucking shit are you talking about? You're just as bad! Ash: Even worse! James: Listen here, prickboy, one more word outta you and you're fucking dead! Brock: Hey, you two, we're already in enoguh trouble. Stop it! Ash&James: No way! James: I'll probably just win anyway. Ash: You sonofabitch! I'll kill you! *They start beating the tar out of each other* Director: Oh, I give up! We'll never get this stupid episode finished! *Runs out crying* Jessie: Well how about that. Look what you did, you little bitch. Misty: Me? It's your fault, you stupid dickhead! Jessie: Why I oughta... Misty: Why you little... *They start strangling each other* Censor: STOP IT! ALL OF YOU!!!!!! Brock: What are you gonna do about it? Tape our mouths shut? Censor: I'd stop that if I were you. Brock (Smacks him): Stop whatr? Censor: You little punk! *They start fighting* Pikachu: Pika-fuck! Meowth: Listen, Pika-fuck, if you don't shut up, I'll kick you in the balls! Pikachu: Pika-dick! Meowth: You little... Pikachu: Pi ka CCCHHHUUUUUU!!!!!!!!! *They start fighting* A few minutes later, Ash and Misty are making out, James and Brock are sprawled out on the floor beating each other up, and Pikachu, Togepi, and Meowth are standing by watching. Censor: OK, now let's stop all the garbage and get back to work on the epsiode. Ash: We're kinda busy here. Do you mind? Misty: Yeah. Censor: Well, that kind of sexual content is not allowed anyway. Brock: Well, who cares? Jessie&James: Yeah. Censor: If you're going to act like this, I'll have to ask you to leave. Ash: Well, fine! I don't give a fuck what you think anyway! Misty: Let's go play cards. I'm tired. Brock: Yeah. Come on, Pikachu and Togepi. Togepi: Togepi? Pikachu: Pika Pi. Misty: Are you guys all right? Togepi: Brrrriiiii!!! Pikachu (jumping up on Ash's head): Pika Pika! Jessie: Well, we might as well go plan our next evil scheme. James: Yeah. Come on, Meowth. Meowth: That was fun. Censor: Kids. You can't go anywhere with them. Ash: I gotta admit, that was fun. Misty: Yeah! Let's do it again sometime. Brock: Well, we can't do it often or we'll be cancelled. But yeah, it was fun. Pikachu: Pika, Pikachu! *All laugh* ********************************************END*****************************************