After reading the interviews done by other people, I decided to do one of my own. It's a lot different that the others, though. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------- SaraJNES interviews the cast of Pokemon SaraJ: Today we will be interviewing the cast of the hit TV show, Pokemon. *Audience cheers* SaraJ: Now, let's bring out the first half of the cast, Ash, Misty, Brock, and Pikachu! Jose: Pikachu? BOO! He sucks! SaraJ: Calm down! He won't steal the spotlight. *Ash, Misty, Brock, and Pikachu walk onto the stage* SaraJ: Welcome to the show, you guys! Ash: Well, it's an honor to be here, Sara. Misty: We get so many interviews, and they all turn out the same. I hope we can get through this one without fighting. Pikachu: Pika, Pikachu! Jose: You suck! Brock: Oh, man! He's gonna ruin everything. SaraJ: No, he won't. Brock: He'd better jot. SaraJ: So, guys, it must be pretty cool traveling to all those great places and seeing all kinds of pokemon. Ash: Sure is. Every day is an opportunity to catch more pokemon and work on becoming the world's greatest pokemon master! Misty: You're learning, but you never seem to catch that many pokemon. Brock: You're right, but don't be so rough on the guy. He's 10 years old! Misty: I only pointed out that he never catches that many pokemon! Why do you always think I'm going to be hard on him? Audience member: She wasn't being mean. She just stated a fact. Ash: Well, that's true. I guess Brock thought she was insulting me because it's happened so many times before. SaraJ: I've noticed. *looks down and sees Brock staring at her* Brock: You're very pretty. SaraJ: Thank you. Now can you please stop staring? Brock: Oh, sorry. Pikachu: Pika, Pi, Pika Pikachu. SaraJ: You guys can let out your other pokemon, you know. Ash: Yeah. Pikachu seems lonely. *they let out their pokemon* Brcok: Does that feel better? Misty: Were you guys getting bored? Togepi: Brrriiiii!!!! Ash: Now play nicely. That means you, Charizard! SaraJ: So, Misty, how does it feel to own an ultra-rare pokemon like Togepi? Misty: Pretty good. It's fun. Ash: Yeah, for you! You're the one he likes! Brock: I know. It's so unfair-I took care of him! Both: Misty, Misty, Misty! Why does it always have to be Misty? SaraJ: Now, guys, let's not go overboard. I'm sure Togepi will get to like you as he gets older. Misty: I'm sorry you guys feel that way. But what can I say? *Ash and Brock groan* Pikachu: Pika, Pikachu. Jose: Pikachu sucks! Ash: Will you leave Pikachu alone? Jose: No way! That stupid mouse can fry! *grabs a frying pan and a blowtorch* SaraJ: Now, let's not do anything drastic. *Ash is very mad, and is trying hard not to swear or cry* Ash: Excuse me. i'm going backstage. Misty: Now you've done it. SaraJ: I'll go talk to him. Hopefully he doesn't have a gun. (cut to commercial) Backstage, Ash is swearing like crazy. Ash: He's entitled to his opinion, but it would be better if he would just keep his mouth shut once in awhile! Throw him out! SaraJ: I won't throw him out. But I'll see to it that he doesn't yell out anything so gross again. Now get back onstage and don't attempt to gut him. Ash: OK, I'll ignore him. But one more word about cooking Pikachu and he's DEAD! *They walk back onstage* SaraJ: And we're back. We were just talking to Ash, Misty, and Brock about their travels. Brock: The best part about it is meeting all the pretty girls. *Ash and Misty roll their eyes* Silver Sky: Brock, you are so cool! Brock: Thank you. Ash: He's right. You meet very interesting people when you're traveling. Misty: And you see very interesting places. Like that island of the giant pokemon-that was wild! Ash: I know. That was a long time ago. Charizard was still Charmander. Jeff: Those were the days. I still can't believe those idiots made him evolve! SaraJ: I don't have anything against evolution. But Charizard isn't nearly as tame as Charmander. Brock: The minute Charmander evolved into Charmeleon, he became very aggressive. Misty: And Charmander was so loyal and respectful. Now it's gone. (Charizard growls and spits fire at everyone) Ash: Dammit, Charizard! Don't flame people just for having their own opinions! SaraJ: No one hates you, Charizard. Jeff: I sure do! Pikachu: Pika, Pi, Pikachu. Squirtle: Squir, Squirtle. Squirtle. Misty: I think they're trying to say that people might like Charizard more if he wasn't so aggressive. Brock: Yeah. Vulpix: Vul, Vulpix. Charizard: Charizarrrrddddd!!!! *spits fire at Vulpix* Vulpix: Vuuuulllllll!!!!!!! *breathes fire at Charizard* Ash: This isn't good. *Vulpix and Charizard start fighting* Sailor Pika: Woah! Talk about a flame war! Brock: Careful, Vulpix! Charizard could really hurt you! Ash: Charizard, stop! You'll kill Vulpix! SaraJ: OK, you guys! Stop that right now! Jeff: Charmander would never assault another pokemon unless in battle! Misty: I'll put the flame out! Staryu, I choose you! *Staryu materializes* Misty: Staryu, water gun! *Staryu douses Charizard's and Vulpix's flames* Ash: That was close. Brock: Vulpix, are you OK? Vulpix: Vulpix. Ash: Charizard, are you all right? Charizard: Char. Ash: Never, EVER do that again! You could have seriously hurt Vulpix! Misty: I just don't understand. It's like when Charmander evolved, his personality did too. Ash: This didn't happen when Caterpie evolved into Metapod, then Butterfree. *sighs* I sure miss him. Brock&Misty: Yeah. Timestones: Butterfree leaving had to be the saddest thing ever. *sniffs* SaraJ: He was a cool Pokemon. *Suddenly, 2 figures crash through the door* "To protect the world from devastation!" "To unite all people within our nation!" "To denounce the evils of truth and love!" "To extend our reach to the stars above!" "Jessie!" "James!" "Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light!" "Surrender now or prepare to fight!" "Meowth! That's right!" Ash: Oh, great! Them! Misty: Now things are gonna get ugly. Brock: I know! SaraJ: You guys are 5 minutes late. Maria R: Wow! You guys rule! Jessie: Looks like we have a fan in the audience. James: Well, who can blame her? Ash: Can we get on with the interview? Please? SaraJ: Sure thing. Audience member: I have a question for Team Rocket. Jessie&James: Yes? Audience member: Why do you continue to pursue Pikachu even though you've failed so many times? Jessie: We absolutely refuse to give up! James: That is a very special Pikachu. Meowth: Yeah. But he's such a brat! I just look at him cross-eyed and he electrocutes me! Misty: He only does that because he knows you're no good. Ash: Yeah! Why don't you just lay off for once? Brock: You'll never get Pikachu no matter how hard you try! James: Idiot. Cypher: Uuhhh, I have a question. SaraJ: Don't start. Cypher: Are you a Pizza Girl? SaraJ: I told you not to start that shit! Cypher: Clinton represents the chicken! All: Shut up! SaraJ: Now, as we were talking about, Team Rocket seems to refuse to give up their dreams of stealing Pikachu. Jessie: Got that right. When we show that Pikachu to the boss, he'll be sure to promote us! James: And that will bring us closer to taking over the world! Meowth: Yep! Ash: Well, you can forget those stupid plans! Brock: Pikachu stays with Ash, and that's final! AzNPikaPi: I thought they'd start going after Togepi for awhile. Misty: Not if I can help it. *grins smugly* Ash: There you go bragging again! Why do you have to rub it in my face? Misty: Well, if you could just stop being so immature and jealous, maybe I'd stop! Ash: So you're doing this just to annoy me? I knew it! Brock: Not again! AzNPikaPi: This exact same thing happened on "Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pikachu". Misty: Ash Ketchum, you can be so selfish sometimes! It's always "me, me me"! Ash: Look who's talking, Miss I'm so Perfect in Every Way! You're just like Marcia Brady, except you don't fall in love 10 times a day! *everyone looks at Brock* Brock: What? Misty: Well, if I'm Marcia Brady, you're Jan Brady-actually, Peter Brady to be more accurate. Jessie: I'm going backstage. James&Meowth: Right behind you. Brock: I'll come back when they shut up! Ash: Looks, like you're all alone, Misty. Hey, you guys, wait up! *follows the others backstage* (cut to commercial) SaraJ: Misty, why are you so mean to Ash? Misty: Well...I'm kinda embarassd to say it. Audience member: Come on, out with it! Misty: Well... I...the thing is...*mumbles something* SaraJ: What? Misty: I...like Ash. *looks embarassed* SaraJ: You like Ash. *Misty nods* SaraJ: Well, why can't you just tell him? Misty: I'd be to embarassed. He thinks I hate him because of the bike incedent. SaraJ: Just tell him. Audience member: Yeah, tell him. Audience: Tell him! Tell him! Tell him! Misty: Well...all right. SaraJ: You guys can come back out now! *Ash, Brock, Jessie, James, Meowth, and the other Pokemon come back otu onstage* SaraJ: And we're back! And it looks like Misty has something to tell Ash. Ash: What is it? Another insult? Misty: No. I just want to tell you...I like you. *Ash is speechless* Brock: Woah... Ash: You like me? Misty: Yeah. That's why I'm so mean to you. I don't know how else to act-I was kinda afraid to say it. Ash: Wow. Now I can tell you my secret. Misty: What's that? *Brock, Jessie, James, SaraJ:, and the others listen intently* Ash: I like you too. Misty: Really? Ash: Yes. *Misty's eyes sparkle, and so do Ash's. They throw their arms around each other* Audience: Awww. Brock: I knew it! I just knew it! SaraJ: Well, this is all very moving. But we should get back to the interview. *looks at Ash and Misty, who are kissing* SaraJ: OK, you guys. You can stop now. *no answer* SaraJ: You guys...you guys...Oh, this is going nowhere! *Brock grabs a whistle and blows it. Pikachu thundershocks them* Ash&Misty: Huh? What the... SaraJ: All right, guys. Save it for after the show. Jessie: Finally, we can get back to th most important part of the show-us! Marcus Yu: I have a question for James. James: Yes? Marcus Yu: What's with all the cross-dressing? James: And why is that any of your business? Maria R: James, you are so cool! And the cross-dressing is funny! James: Well, thank you. I guess I have got that certain charm. Ash&Brock: Dream on! James: You're just jealous. *smirks* Misty: I left out one Brady reference-James acts like Greg! *All laugh* Pikachu: Pika, Pikachu! SaraJ: Now, if you humans will go backstage, I'd like to speak to your pokemon for awhile. All: Sure. *They leave* SaraJ: As we all know, Pikachu is very popular. Any jealousy? Squirtle: Well, sometimes. We all get our share of the attention, though. Pikachu: I am one of the cutest. But you guys should get more screen time. Especially Pidgeotto. Pidgeotto: Oh, I don't mind. Ash uses me enough. Zubat: Same here. Like the time we were sent out on surveillance to find Ditto. Psyduck: Well, Charmander got his share of the attention. Until he evolved! Bulbasuar: We used to have so much fun together-me, Pikachu, Squirtle, and Charmander. Then they mad him evolve! Vulpix: I'm glad I only evolve using the fire stone, and that Brock didn't force evolution. Pikachu: I also chose not to evolve. Jose: DIE, YOU STUPID RAT! SaraJ: It sounds like a lot of you are against evolution. Starmie: After what it did to Charmander, how good can it be? Charizard: I don't mean to be a jerk. I just like being strong. Onix: It wouldn't be so bad if you had remained loyal to Ash. Horsea: If I ever evolved, I'd stay loyal to Misty. After all, she did save my life. SaraJ: Togepi, I know you like Misty because she was the first person you saw. But are you starting to like the guys? Togepi: Yeah. Ash is a nice guy, and Brock is cool. Silver Sky: You can say that again! Meowth: Can I say something here? SaraJ: Yes. Meowth: I just want to point out that Arbok and Weezing are evolved from Ekans and Koffing, and they're not that different. *they nod* SaraJ: That's right. I wonder what makes Charizard so different from the other evolved Pokemon. *they all shrug* SaraJ: Psyduck, why do you always come out of your pokeball whenever Misty wants to use another Pokemon? Psyduck:I thought if I won Misty a few battles, she'd like me more. Audience: Awww. Psyduck: I don't know why I bother, though. She's so abusive. Staryu: Give the girl a break! If you tried harder, you might win once in awhile. Psyduck: Why don't you come over here and say that? Geodude: Will you please stop that? You'll ruin the interview! Goldeen: Yeah. *Psyduck and Staryu groan* SaraJ: I know you battle each other when your masters say to. What about the rest of the time? Arbok: We get along OK. like on the island of the Giant Pokemon, it was basically us against Meowth. Weezing: Then that Rhydon showed up, and we had to band together. Psyduck: I wasn't there. Togepi, Vupix, and Horsea: Me either. Pikachu: Consider yourself lucky you weren't! It was scary on that island! SaraJ: I can only imagine. Let's bring the humans back out now. *Ash, Misty, Brock, Jessie, and James come back out onstage* SaraJ: Welcome back, guys. Did you find anything to do back there? Brock: Yeah, they did. *looks at Ash and Misty* they were all over each other! And so were they. *looks at Jessie and James* Jessie: We most certainly were not! James: Only for a few minutes. Ash&Misty: Same here! SaraJ: Brock, sounds like you were a little lonely back there. Brock: Yeah. Ash and misty have each other. And these 2 have thier evil plans. I'm all alone. *sighs* Maria R: Don't worry. You'll meet someone. SaraJ: Yeah. Brock: I guess you're right. Cypher: It's hard to write when you're high! Ash :Not him again! Cypher: Trenchcaot Mafia is really the Greenwich posse! Sailor Pika: No one cares! Misty: You suck! Cypher: Are those 18-inch dicks real? Ash: Who knows? Who cares? SaraJ: Cypher, if you don't stop, I'll report you to abuse@aol.net! Brock: Why don't you just killfile the asshole? SaraJ: With AOL? Brock: I see. Cypher: Selling LSD is murder! Jessie&James: NO DUH! SaraJ: Cypher, shut up! Cypher: Clinton repesents whores! All: SHUT UP!! SaraJ: Now, let's continue. What are your opinions on the cut episodes of your show? Ash: Well, 2 of them were cut for a good reason-seizures. But they could have shown the other ones! Misty: The "Holiday of Acropourco" ep was cut because of all the bikinis. Brock: That really sucked. Misty: And the Dratini ep was cut because of the guns. Now that made no sense! Ash: They use so many guns on "Batman"! So what's wrong with using them on our show? Jessie: For once, the twerp's right about something. James: They could have cut out the scenes that were too risque. *Just then, Gary runs out onsatge* Gary: What were you people thinking doing an interview without me? SaraJ: I didn't want you and Ash killing each other. Gary: Is it hot as hell in here, or is it just you? *winks* SaraJ: Stop staring at my chest! And that stupid pickup line won't work on me! Ash: Get the hell outta here, jerk! Gary: Make me, loser! Brock: Stop it! Misty: You're screwing up the interview! Ash: Not until he leaves! *they fight* SaraJ: OK, you two, break it up! Now! Gary: Never! Ash: You heard the girl, now beat it! Gary: All, right, all right, I'm leaving! Jeez! *leaves* SaraJ: I knew it. I knew they'd try to kill each other. Pikachu: Pika, Pika! Jose: I know how I'll shut up that stupid little electric rat. I'll ROAST him! And a tender, juicy Pikachu would go great with a red wine sauce. *Brock is shocked. Misty looks like she's going to puke. And Ash is becoming angrier by the second* SaraJ: *shudders* Please don't talk about cooking pokemon-it's gross. Jose: I wonder how long I should cook if for... *Ash is glaring at Jose, and looks like he is going to scream an obscenity* Misty: Oh, man. Now he's gonna explode! Ash: You lousy, good for nothing, SICKO! I'll kick your ass! *runs out into the audience and starts punching Jose* Jose: Get off, you littl wuss! *hits Ash. They start beating the tar out of each other* Brock: Woah! I never knew Ash had such a good left hook! Jessie: This sure is crazy. James: The only thing missing is a couple of flying chairs. *at that moment, Jose, throws a chair at Ash, who throws another one back* Meowth: Satisfied? AzNPikaPi: Woah-Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pikachu was never this out of control! SaraJ: OK, you guys, this isn't the Jerry Springer show! Stop that-now! *they don't listen* SaraJ: I mean it! Break it up, now! *still no sign of stopping* Misty: They'll kill each other! SaraJ: You leave me no choice. *call out her Pikachu* SaraJ: Pikachu, thundershock! But not too hard! *Pikachu hits Ash and Jose with a small shock* Ash: What the...a Pikachu? Jose: DAMMIT! Beaten by a Pikachu! SaraJ: Jose, you're entitled to your opinion, but no talk about cooking Pikachu-or any pokemon for that matter. Ash, you had the right be upset, but no more violence, please. Both: All right. *Ash goes back onstage* Misty: Are you OK? Ash: Yeah. I don't know that came over me. He was talking about hurting Pikachu, and I just snapped. I'm not sorry I stood up to him, though. Brock: I don't blame you. Just the thought in general is sick! SaraJ: Gald that's over. Ash: You have a Pikachu too? SaraJ: Yeah. I also have a Charmander backstage. Jessie: Now, can we get on with the interview, please? James: Yes, can we? After all, we can't dissapoint our fans, can we? Cypher: AHH!!! I'M NUDE! Misty: I swear, if that jerk says one more thing, I'll kill him! Cyhper: Children are born homo fight for their rights! SaraJ: Shut up! Cypher: What movie has that ice dildo scene? Silver Sky: Who cares? Get outta here! Jessie: What a moron! Meowth: I'll give him the scratching of his life! James: Not if I get there first! Ash: You piece of crap! I'll killfile you! *all laugh* Maria R: LOL! Cypher: Here comes another shit fart! Brock: Will you shut up? You want to make us all sick, you troll? Cypher: I delivered this pizza late on purpose. Sara: Shut up, Cypher! Ash: Why wasn't he banned from this interview? Misty: He must have used a fake ISP and worn a mustache. SaraJ: Here's a poll: How many of you want Cypher out of here? *Everyone except Cypher raises their hand. Cyphes farting noises* James: I'm going down there and kicking his ass! Jessie: You? With those muscles? *laughs. James smacks her* Jessie: OW! That's revenge, isn't it? For all those times I hit you? Maria: Way to go, James! Stick up for yourself! But don't hit Jessie. Use Cypher as a target. Brock: How do you AOLers deal with him? SaraJ: I just mark all his crap read before reading all the good stuff. Brock: That's a smart idea. *smiles at her* SaraJ: Thanks. *smiles back* Cypher: AHH!!! I'M NUDE! Second try. Ash: We noticed! Cypher: This time I'm really smoking! Audience: Who cares? Cypher: I just shaved my pubic hair! Misty: Good for you! Cypher: Do those guys really have 2 dicks? SaraJ: SHUT UP! Cypher: Let's do something stoopid with our dicks. Ash: Let's not! MWF: I though I killfiled you, Cypher... Cypher: I raped a Chevy pickup truck! Sailor Pika: Who cares, you stupid pervert? Jessie: Does this jerk ever stop? James: I'll bet not. Ash: He's such an annoying pain in the ass! Misty: You're telling me? Pikachu: Pika Pi. Togepi: Toge, Togepi. Cypher: Clinton represents broken washing machines! Brock: I'll bet he does. Now shut up! Cypher: I shit the bed! *Everyone groans* SaraJ: Now, that is just plain sick! Cypher: Hey, Misty, wanna fuck? Misty: *shudders* After that last disgusting comment, NO WAY! Cypher: What do you think of my dick? All: IT SUCKS! All females: And it's too small! SaraJ: They've got a point there. Cypher: Laugh all you want. but you can't killfile me, so HA! SaraJ: Oh, yeah? *pulls out a slip of paper that reads "You have been reported to Usenet and abuse@aol.net. Have a nice day"* Cypher: I'll...be going now. *runs out the door* SaraJ: Well, he's gone. *everyone cheers* Cameraman: You're out of time. SaraJ: Well, I guess that's our show. Thank you all for coming. *everyone starts leaving. Only Brock stays behind* Brock: That was really cool how you handled Rob Cypher. SaraJ: Thanks. It's easy to report a troll. The only problem is that they come back. *they smile at each other* Brock: Hey, why don't you and I get a cup of coffee? SaraJ: Sure. Ash: Why don't we make it a double date? Misty: We were just heading over there. Brock: I guess that's cool. SaraJ: Sounds good to me. *They leave* ---------------------------END------------------------ I hope I didn't make anyone sound bad. Except Cypher. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------- So? What did you think? *stands by the door with her fingers crossed* SaraJNES All right, all right, I take it back! UnScrew you! "I have seen the truth...and it makes no sense."