"Broken Ice"
        by Sara Jaye


        Another Kunzite&Zoisite angst fest. What else is new? ;P I'm writing 
from Kunzite-sama's point of view again, though. ^^

[Disclaimers: Sailor Moon is the property of Naoko Takeuchi and Toei 
animation. None of the characters belong to me.
This fanfic is yaoi, so if that kind of thing bothers you or isn't your speed, 
you may want to close the window. :P But if not, enjoy! ^^]

                                        ~


        My life is a living hell.
        I just want it to end. I'm sick of being alone, sick of being abused, 
sick of being nothing more to than "The Ice King" to everyone. Not like it 
makes any difference, though. In this hard, soulless kingdom, baring your true 
self is asking for a death sentence. Emotions are worthless.
        I'm no more than a hollow shell of the man I once was. Not that I 
WASN'T completely empty to begin with. No one ever cared about me and if I'd 
died one day they would have all been so damned happy I was out of the picture. 
The only difference here is I'm the highest ranked and most powerful of the 
Dark Kingdom Shitennou, so they treat me with respect and address me politely. 
But if not for this damned position of mine they'd just ignore or mock me like 
they would any loser. In fact, it's become quite obvious Nephrite-kun is 
beginning to resent me for some reason. I don't care. It's not like I'm not 
used to everyone hating me for no reason at all...except...
        Him...
        Zoisite. The second highest ranking of the Shitennou and my student. He 
might be the second highest, but there's still enough of a gap between us for 
him to learn from me...at least in my opinion. Or is there? Maybe I just 
offered to teach him so I could be close to someone, even if we never talk very 
much. He is a pretty decent young man. Very defensive, though, in a cold sort 
of way. If I point out an error, he'll apologize for "not having the 
intelligence or strength of someone better". Obviously he feels uncomfortable 
around me, seeing me as some high and mighty egotist. The Ice King, as usual.

        People seem to think I have no emotions whatsoever, that I'm too cold 
to feel anything. I could be stabbed in the back with a dagger and not bleed, 
they say...I'm heartless.
        I could give a damn less what THEY think of me, of course, but it's not 
just their opinions. Apparently this is a fact. That I'm heartless.
        A lot they know! If I was heartless, would I be walking through these 
corridors at midnight, forcing myself not to cry?
        I thought so.
        I repeat, my life is a living hell. I'm tired of this. I just want to 
end it all. Ranking or no ranking, they would be glad to be rid of me. I'll 
screw up sooner or later, so what difference does it make? What difference does 
anything make? Life is an empty, meaningless thing anyway.
        Great. I'm crying now. I've succumbed to emotion...no, to weakness. I 
hate being weak.
        'Men don't cry,' I hear a stern voice whispering in my mind. The same 
voice I hear every time I feel any emotions other than anger.
        I hate crying.
        I guess they're all right about me. I am completely emotionless. 
Heartless. A block of ice.
        No wonder he's so uncomfortable around me. I don't blame him...

        'Heartless block of ice.'

        The words repeated in my mind relentlessly. Cold tears ran down my 
cheeks as I continued to walk aimlessly through the corridors. Maybe I'll 
freeze to death...or one of the youma will find me and kill me. Put me out of 
my misery.
        My thoughts were interrupted as I collided with someone. My prayers 
have been answered!
        "Just make it quick," I pleaded, then waited for the youma to strike.
        Nothing.
        "Well? Get on with it!" I growled, not caring who hears me.
        Still nothing.
        "Can't you hear?! I said kill me, damn you!" I yelled. At that moment, 
I heard something...a sigh?
        "Wait a minute...if you're not a youma, then...well, who else would be 
walking around at this hour?" I asked.
        "You're not the only one with problems," a soft, choked voice answered. 
I looked around, and through my tear-blurred eyes I saw a familiar slender 
figure...long copper-blonde hair cascading down the broad shoulders...and 
the most haunting green eyes I'd ever seen, just barely visible in the 
darkness.
        Zoisite...
        I didn't know what to say...I'd never seen him this way before. His 
hair down, his uniform wrinkled, and...were those tear stains on his cheeks?
        They were...
        "What are you doing walking around at this hour? I figured you would 
have much more important things to do than bump into me...like sleep," he asked 
quietly. Now what was I going to say to that?
        "I might ask you the same thing," I muttered.
        "Why do you care?" He didn't even look at me this time. I felt a stab 
of pain in my chest upon hearing that.
        'Why would you care? You're just The Ice King. You're heartless, 
completely devoid of emotions and. Heartless.' In a flash of anger, I grabbed 
his shoulder and looked him in the eye.
        "Like you're so warm and thoughtful yourself. You're so defensive and 
always assume everyone is out to get you. You assume things about others right 
off and never give them a chance. And you accuse me of being uncaring?" I 
sneered.
        I immediately regretted this. Zoisite slowly backed away from me and 
just stared, looking as if I'd slapped him across the face...those beautiful 
eyes filled with confused pain. He trembled visibly as he sank to his knees on 
the cold floor.
        "Gomen nasai, Kunzaito-sama, my lord...I've deeply offended you and I 
was wrong," he whispered, his voice breaking.
        'Bastard!' I berated myself. Here I was complaining about being 
considered heartless when just moments ago I was hating myself for so much as 
feeling depressed. And now I'd hurt the one person I cared about more than 
anything-wait a minute! Where the hell did this come from? Yes, I cared about 
Zoisite, but only in the way a mentor would care about a student. Right?
        Regardless of whatever struggling with my feelings I was planning on, 
I'd hurt him. And seeing him knelt down in front of me crying like this hurt 
more than a thousand people calling me a heartless block of ice. Slowly, I 
knelt down next to him and placed my hand on his shoulder.
        "Gomen nasai, Zoisaito-kun," I apologized. "I...I didn't mean to yell 
at you like that, I...I know you aren't uncaring..." He looked up at me, his 
eyes puffy and tears running down his cheeks.
        "It's nothing. Really, Kunzaito-sama," he said quietly.
        "No...I'm used to this sort of thing, being considered...uncaring 
myself. Everyone knows it, and it was only a matter of time before you agreed 
with them," I sighed.
        "I don't agree with them," he said.
        "What?"
        "I judge people based on my own opinions. If I thought you were a 
heartless bastard I'd have requested not to work with you anymore." I couldn't 
believe what I was hearing.
        "You actually like working with me?" I asked. He nodded. After a few 
moments of silence, he suddenly flung himself against me, his arms wrapping 
tightly around my chest.
        "I'll never leave you," he sobbed. I couldn't believe this! A man I'd 
assumed didn't even enjoy being in my presence half the time and whom I'd just 
snapped at was clinging to me like a lifeboat. And it felt pretty damn good, 
too. I enfolded him in my arms, rubbing his back gently as he cried softly 
against my chest.
        "It'll be all right," I whispered, brushing aside a lock of his silky 
hair. He felt so good in my arms! For the first time in years, I actually felt 
warm inside...he needed me. 'And I need him,' I finally admitted to myself. 
Slowly, I lifted him into my arms, then stood up.
        "Where are we going, Kunzaito-sama?" he asked. I didn't answer, only 
summoned a portal with my energy and teleported us to my bedroom. He looked 
confused as I lay him down on my bed, joined him, and pulled the covers around 
us.
        "Stay with me tonight," I pleaded, holding him tightly against me and 
burying my face against his hair.
        "Kunzaito-sama...a-are you sure?" he asked, still nervous.
        "Please," I whispered, moving my lips down the side of his face and 
gently kissing his earlobe. "I need you." His arms slipped around me once again 
as a smile lit up his face. Those beautiful eyes looked up at me, with a shine 
I'd never seen before.
        "Thank you," he choked.
        "No. Thank you, Zoisaito-kun. For saving me from myself," I whispered. 
I felt my tears threatening to return, but this time I didn't care.
        "Never, ever leave me, Kunzaito-sama," he said, tears still choking his 
voice. I gently lifted his chin and looked into those haunting emerald windows 
to his soul, seeing love mixed with pain and fear.
        "Zoisaito?"
        "I...I need you so much, Kunzaito-sama...and...I-I'm just so afraid 
that...this is only a dream, and...tomorrow I'll wake up in my bed alone as 
usual," he confessed. A pain I knew all too well.
        "I'll never leave you alone, Zoisaito," I promised, my own voice 
breaking. "No matter what." With that, I pressed my lips firmly to his. He 
started to pull away a little, but quickly relaxed, kissing back just as 
passionately. From this moment on, I lost all sense of the world around me. My 
entire being was focused on the beautiful man in my arms...the feel of his warm, 
slender body held close to mine...the taste of his lips...the faint scent of sakura 
blossoms...
        Eventually we broke the kiss, pulling back to gaze into each other's 
eyes as we slowly came back to reality.
        "Kunzaito-sama..." he whispered. "This still feels like it's all just a 
dream..."
        "If it is, I never want to wake up," I said, holding him as close as 
humanly possible.
        "And people still think you're a block of ice with no emotions?" he 
smirked. "A lot they know."
        "Zoisaito..." I choked, burying my face in those silky locks once 
again, a few tears slipping down my cheeks. Gods, this felt so right...he fit 
perfectly in my arms, and to know I was the one he'd trusted to see his softer 
side and vice versa...
        In the back of my mind I was a bit worried that we might feel awkward 
about this in the morning, but ignored it. I didn't want to think about that 
right now. I only cared about here and now, with Zoisite. My emerald-eyed 
savior.
        I never wanted this moment to end. I swore to myself I would never, 
ever let him go.

                                ~End~

        Finished! ^_^ It got horribly sappy as usual. ^^; And it turned out a 
lot different than I originally planned, but that isn't necessarily a bad 
thing. ^^
        It probably seems a bit strange, having them sleep in the same bed and 
kissing without saying "I love you" at any time. ^^; For once, I decided to 
leave it as unspoken-even without it being said, they pretty much know. ^^ I 
like that concept...I need to use it in stories more often. ^^
        And finally, about the name of this story...well, I titled it while it 
was still "Kunzite is depressed and runs into Zoisite" story, before the 
bedroom scene was even considered, so I apologize if it sounds kinda off. ^^; 
And I apologize if the end of the story feels a little like that as well...I 
finished writing at 4am. X_x;;
        Till next time! ^^