"Failure"
        by Sara Jaye


        Another short, sappy, angsty Kunzite&Zoisite story, from Zoisite's 
point of view again. I wrote this at 2:30am, so I'm not sure how much sense it 
makes. It takes place after episode 33, but it's slightly different. ^^;;

[Disclaimers: Sailor Moon is the property of Naoko Takeuchi and Toei 
animation. None of the characters belong to me.
This fanfic is yaoi, so if that kind of thing bothers you or isn't your speed, 
you may want to close the window. :P But if not, enjoy! ^^]
                                ~


        Another failure. Wonderful. Queen Beryl-sama will have our heads for 
this. She's really going to let us have it this time. Why else would she call 
us back from the battle so suddenly? I'd curse the Senshi, but is it really 
their fault? I don't even care about that stupid crystal anymore!
        "...Did I just think that?" I asked myself aloud.
        "Something wrong, Zoisaito?" His deep voice jerked me back to reality. 
I smiled calmly, running my fingers through the ends of my hair.
        "Iie, Kunzaito-sama. I was just thinking," I answered, unable to keep 
my eyes off of his injured hands. It hurt me to see them; the thought of 
Kunzite-sama in pain brings tears to my eyes.
        "We have failed miserably again," he said coldly.
        'WE failed?!' I thought. How could he say such a thing? Sure, this was 
his plan, but I'm the one who didn't consider the appearance of Sailorvenus. I 
let her get away and set the other Senshi free. And I should have been the one 
slashed by the Crescent Beam! I let Kunzite-sama be hurt!
        I...let Kunzite-sama...be...hurt.
        That last thought grabbed hold of my mind and refused to let go. I'd 
sworn I'd throw away my life for him, and I couldn't even stop that damned 
Crescent Beam!
        No. I wasn't going to agonize over this, not right now. Not just 
before we were to meet with Queen Beryl-sama.
        "Yes..." I said quietly. "I'm sorry about your hands, Kunzaito-sama." 
He stared blankly at me. Had I said something wrong?
        "It's all right," he said, his voice cold as ever.
        'It's not all right! I failed you, Kunzaito-sama! I try so hard to do 
a good job, to make you proud, but does it even matter? I can't do anything 
right, I'm an idiot!' Again I had to mentally slap myself. I wasn't about to 
break down in tears in front of him.
        "I suppose we'll just have to ask Queen Beryl-sama for another 
chance," I said. This time he only nodded silently, barely looking at me. He 
really was angry at me, and I didn't blame him one bit. I hated myself so much 
right now, I almost wished Queen Beryl-sama would kill me for this. The whole 
week had been nothing but failures, misery, and confusion. Lately I'd been 
wondering why I even cared about that damned crystal anymore. This wasn't 
right, finding the Silver Crystal was my job, was it not? The Kingdom needed 
it, right? So why the hell did I just not care as much as I should? Wait a 
minute...how did my thoughts get from the crystal to Kunzite-sama then back? 
Great, my mind must be fragmenting, I'm going crazy! What's wrong with me 
lately? I crossed my arms tightly across my chest, trying to block out the 
world around me.
        Then I heard something...muffled sobs coming from somewhere. But there 
was nobody else here except for...

        "Kunzaito-sama?!"

        I'd never seen him like this before. Kunzite-sama, normally so 
professional and serious had fallen to his knees on the cold ground, sobbing 
into the sleeve of his jacket.
        This wasn't happening. It wasn't like Kunzite-sama to break down out 
of nowhere like this! I'd snapped, apparently. I was imagining things, because 
this didn't seem real at all.
        "Kunzaito-sama?" I whispered.
        "I failed you, Zoisaito," he choked. Now I was sure I'd gone crazy. 
I'd failed him! Not the other way around! This wasn't real, it just couldn't 
be real...it was, though. And all I could do was come over and put my arms 
around him.
        "It was my fault. I'm the one who ruined your plan, I let them get 
away, remember?" I asked.
        "But if my plan hadn't been so idiotic in the first place none of this 
would have happened. What was I thinking?" he sobbed.
        "It was a very good plan, Kunzaito-sama. All your plans are. The only 
reason they fail is because I screw them up," I said, gently stroking his 
hair. It felt pretty nice to hold him for once. As much as I loved being held 
in his arms, there was something about being the one doing the holding, a 
whole different feeling. "It'll be all right," I whispered reassuringly. I 
felt one of his injured hands close around mine.
        "You did a wonderful job, Zoisaito. You were doing just fine until 
Sailorvenus came in," he said. So he wasn't disappointed in me after all. I 
felt some of this week's apprehension melting away.
        "Thank you," I whispered. "We'd better do something about your 
injuries, though..."
        "I'll be fine, just as long as you're here with me, Zoisaito," 
he said. "As long as you weren't hurt."
        "I'd rather I'd have been hurt than you, Kunzaito-sama."
        We stayed like that for the next few minutes. These precious few 
moments are what I live for, the ones that make all my emotional suffering and 
turmoil worthwhile. I'd go through the fires of Hades and back just for 5 
minutes with Kunzite-sama. Again, the world seemed to fade away as we held 
each other. I wished we could stay like that forever.
        But as always, the moment had to end. Queen Beryl-sama was waiting for 
us.
        "We'd better get this over with, then," he sighed. Reluctantly, we let 
go of each other and stood up, straightening our uniforms.
        "Right," I said. "I can't help wondering why she called us back so 
suddenly, though."
        "I must admit I'm...afraid of what she's going to do with us, whatever 
it is. She sounded so angry," he said quietly. I knew I should be even more 
worried as he said that. If Kunzite-sama was afraid, it must be really bad. 
Yet for some reason, I couldn't worry.
        "I'm sure it's nothing. We tried our best, and all we have to do is 
ask for another chance. Look how close we came this time, Kunzaito-sama. A 
little more planning and everything should work out," I said. I couldn't 
believe I was saying this...even more, that I actually believed it. I'm no 
coward, but I normally get so nervous concerning Queen Beryl-sama and 
failures. A week ago I would have been crying myself to sleep over this. 
Everything feels strange lately...
        "Zoisaito...I've never seen you like this before. You sound so sure of 
yourself, so fearless...I'm worried," he sighed.
        "Worried?"
        "I just don't want you to end up in over your head, thinking nothing's 
going to go wrong," he said.
        "Don't worry about it, Kunzaito-sama. I wouldn't do anything that 
would put you or myself in danger," I reassured him. I hoped I could live up 
to that promise. I'd never forgive myself if anything else happened to 
Kunzite-sama. "As I said, I would throw away my life for you."
        He didn't answer, only smiled as he wrapped his arms around me and 
brushed his fingers through my ponytail.
        "I love you, Zoisaito," he whispered softly in my ear. "You don't have 
to say that, though. Just knowing you're here with me is enough," he said 
before his lips touched my own. I knew we were wasting time here, but I didn't 
care.
        "I love you too," I said, pulling back after a minute. "If we could 
just stay here a little longer..."
        "I know. But time is short, so we'd best report to Queen Beryl-sama 
now," he said.
        "Hai, Kunzaito-sama," I said, following him down the corridor. I 
didn't know what the outcome of this was going to be. All I knew was that 
something was about to happen, and when it did, nothing would be the same.

                                ~End~

        I apologize if this doesn't make much sense. I wrote half of it at 
2:30am and as for the other half...it just moved on its own. ^^;; I've had 
ideas about writing an "After episode 33" story a few times, but they weren't 
much more than WAFFy little scenes of Zoisite tending to Kunzite's 
hands. ^_^;; I'm just glad I wrote something after another dry spell. ^^