"Five Words"
   by Sara Jaye

	This is just something I came up with yesterday when I was 
feeling depressed. It was just one of those mornings where everything 
seemed to go wrong-I overslept, was in a lousy mood, and flunked my 
math assignment. After my math tutor left, I felt stupid and pathetic. 
Like I should have been able to get a passing grade. Before I knew it, 
this came to mind and I was writing. ^^ This story may seem a little 
odd in some places, but I was thinking more about the emotions in it 
at the time...I hope it's still decent. ^^;;

[Disclaimers: Sailor Moon is the property of Naoko Takeuchi and Toei 
animation. None of the characters belong to me. This fanfic is a bit 
depressing, and very emotional. So if that kind of thing bothers you, 
you may want to close this window. Otherwise, enjoy! ^_^]



	"I wish I was dead."
	Those words repeated themselves in my head over and over as I 
listened to the rain beating down on the windows. I clutched tightly 
at the bedsheet, burying my face in the pillow to muffle the loud, 
pitiful sobs wracking my body. I hated my life. I hated my job, I 
hated feeling so stupid and lonely, and most of all, I hated myself. 
For putting up with all the trash life kept hurling at me. For having 
worked for the forces of evil in the past simply because I was lonely 
and wanting to escape everything. For allowing my so-called friends to 
mock me. For being pathetic enough to mock in the first place. For 
feeling so weak and depressed. In short...I hated myself for being 
alive. I wanted to end it all.
	"I wish I was dead," I choked, another stream of tears running 
down my face. I hated being in so much pain...I wanted for someone to 
hold me and tell me they cared about me, that things would be okay. 
But alas...I just couldn't have that. No one cared. To them I was 
either a useless idiot, or just...not important enough. My heart ached 
so much. I wanted to die and end my emotional torment.
	Just then, I heard a soft knock on the door. Great, I thought. 
It must be one of the guys coming to rip into me some more. "Go away," 
I mumbled. "May I come in?" a kind female voice asked. I immediately 
felt bad. Obviously it wasn't one of the guys. "Sure," I said. The 
door opened, and in walked someone familiar, but at the same time who 
I'd have never expected. I looked up for a moment, my vision blurred 
by tears.
	"Setsuna..." I sighed, then lay my face back into the pillow. 
She walked over and sat down at the foot of the bed. "So...what's 
wrong?" she asked. I tried to answer, but all I could manage was a 
long, shuddering sob. My shoulders shook as I slowly lifted my head, 
then turned to face her direction. Her soft garnet-red eyes were 
filled with tears. "Jadeite? What's wrong?" she repeated. I tried to 
answer, but more sobs caught in my throat. I gulped and took a few 
deep breaths before trying again. "Nothing...just everything," I 
managed to get out before falling back against the pillow, shoulders 
heaving. I heard Setsuna sigh, then felt her cautiously place her hand 
on my back. "There there...just tell me what's wrong," she whispered 
comfortingly. Upon hearing her say that, my tears stopped momentarily. 
I longed to tell her of all my sorrows, of how the world seemed to be 
against me no matter what I did...but why would she care? Why should 
she care? After all, she was Meioh Setsuna, Sailor Pluto, Guardian of 
Time. She has more important things to think about than dumb old 
Jadeite, I thought.
	"Why do you care?" I muttered. She sighed again. "Jadeite, 
please tell me. Maybe I can help you," she said. Sure, maybe she 
could. "But why would you want to?" "Because...I know how you feel," 
she told me. I found that hard to believe. How could she possibly 
know of the emotional torment I was going through? I knew she did 
get depressed sometimes, but still... "You're just saying that," I 
muttered, a bit angrily. "No, I'm really not. I, too, have felt as 
you do right now, Jadeite. That life was meaningless. And loneliness 
is a regular feeling for me," she said. "Maybe. But tell me something, 
did you let yourself be drawn in by the forces of evil simply to 
escape life?" I asked. She shook her head. "Can't say that I have," 
she answered. "Then you can't know how I feel right now," I said 
coldly. I felt terrible for sounding so bitter to someone who just 
wanted to help. But I knew I was beyond help. My life was a living 
hell, so what difference would it make that one person felt sorry for 
me? "It's hopeless," I mumbled. "What is?" she asked. "Everything!" I 
cried, my eyes overflowing yet again. "I'm lonely, I'm stuck in a 
dead-end job I shouldn't even have in the first place considering my 
past, my so-called friends could give a damn less about me and mock me 
every time I screw up, I'm stupid, mundane, and just...worthless," I 
sobbed. "I hate my life and I hate myself even more!" Setsuna did not 
say anything, just got up, came over to the side of the bed, and knelt 
down. I felt her hand gently running up and down my back, and 
occasionally over my shoulders. "Just let it all out, Jadeite," she 
whispered soothingly. "I-I can't stand this pain anymore, Setsuna..." 
I sobbed. 
	"I wish I was dead." I heard her gasp.
	"Jadeite...please don't," she implored. "I've got nothing to 
live for," I choked. "Please don't..." she said again. For a minute I 
could have sworn I heard her voice break. "No one gives a damn about 
me anyhow. No one understands...no one cares," I cried. Then I heard 
something I never thought I would.
	"I care."
	Was this real? Did she just say she actually cared? I looked up 
slightly, my eyes red and swollen from crying.
	"What?"
	"I care about you," she said.
	I couldn't believe this. Someone cared about me? Someone cared 
whether dumb old Jadeite lived of died-and didn't want me to die? I 
felt my heart swell a little in my chest.
	"Setsuna..." I whispered. I sat up in bed a little, to make 
room for her. She sat back down and wrapped her slender arms around my 
shaking form, pulling my close against her. Unable to say anything, I 
flung my arms around her neck and lay my head on her chest. Tears fell 
from my eyes, but this time they were ones of relief, that I was not 
alone in this world. "Shh..." She held me closer, stroking my hair. 
"I'm here for you, Jadeite," she whispered.
	Somewhere in my mind, 5 words of hopelessness and depression 
faded, and were replaced by the ones just whispered to me. By my 
emerald-haired savior. A small smile appeared on my face. "Thank you," 
I whispered.
	My life was still far from wonderful. But knowing I had a true 
friend who understood my sorrow and cared enough to stop me from 
ending it all was the best thing that happened in a long time.
	Amazing what a difference 5 words can make.

				~End~