"I'm sorry..."

"Sorry for what?"

"I'm jealous. I-I should be happy for you for being in love!" Amiboshi 
sniffled.

"Aniki, you're crying!" Suboshi tried to put his arm around him, but 
Amiboshi shrugged him off.

"It's just stupid, otouto. I'm jealous of your being in love with Yui-sama 
because I feel like you're paying more attention to her than to me, and 
that's just childish," Amiboshi crossed his arms over his chest, forcing 
back tears. "Just leave me alone, okay?"

"What?!" Suboshi sighed. "Aniki...!"

"I said leave me alone! Don't worry about me, I'm sure I'll get over it. 
Just...leave, okay?"

"No! Aniki, I can't leave you alone at a time like this! Please, just tell 
me what's wrong!"

"I'm only your brother! Why should you put your love for a woman aside for 
me? I'm the one who pretty much abandoned you by going off to Konan and 
then not bothering to come back when I survived falling into the river!" 
Amiboshi's voice broke. "I'm just selfish. I...I just want you all to 
myself, otouto."

"Aniki..." Suboshi reached for him again. "I-I didn't know you felt that 
way..."

"I'm sorry." Tears dripped down Amiboshi's face. "I-I'm so sorry"

"Aniki..."

"I'm leaving tonight. I just...can't stay here anymore. I'm useless...
and...my feelings are wrong, unnatural, and selfish..."

"There's nothing wrong with missing your brother! I...I'm sorry I haven't 
been there for you as much lately," Suboshi sighed. "Please...don't 
leave..."

"It's not just missing my brother..."

"What are you talking about?"

Amiboshi felt sick. But Suboshi had to know sooner or later, and it might 
as well be now.

"Otouto..." He swallowed the lump in his throat and looked into Suboshi's 
eyes.

"Aniki...?"

"I'm in love with you."

With that, Amiboshi turned on his heel and ran away.

~

"I'm in love with you."

With those words, his brother was gone.

When the initial shock wore off, Suboshi couldn't decide how he felt. 
Disgusted? By all logic he should feel that way, he thought, after all, 
his own BROTHER, his flesh and blood, had romantic feelings for him. That 
was wrong, wasn't it?

No. Even if it was, Amiboshi was his brother. He loved him too much to 
hold anything against him.

Anger? But why would be be angry-because his brother had feelings for him 
or because he'd kept them a secret? They never kept things like this from 
each other.

No. It wasn't anger.

Guilt? Love or not, he HAD been so preoccupied with Yui lately he'd kind 
of ignored his brother.

No, it was more powerful than that...

"Damn it!" Suboshi kicked at the ground. "I don't know what to think, say, 
or do now! I love Yui-sama, no question about it...but...aniki..." He 
sighed. "Yui-sama...aniki..." Yui was beautiful and he would do anything 
for her. But...he couldn't imagine life without his brother!

Confusion. That was what he felt.

Sighing, he turned and ran in the direction Amiboshi had gone off in.

"Even if I don't know what the hell to say, I...I can't stand the thought 
of him all alone, crying."


He found Amiboshi at a nearby riverbank, huddled into a ball. The sight of 
him just about broke his heart.

"Aniki..."

He walked over and sat down next to Amiboshi, then wordlessly pulled him 
into an embrace.

"Just let me hold you while you cry..." he whispered. Amiboshi 
instinctively latched onto the fabric of Suboshi's shirt.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled through his tears.

"Shh...don't apologize. I'm not angry..." Suboshi gently stroked the other 
boy's hair. "I'm here..."

"Otouto..." Amiboshi tried to speak, but only sobbed harder.

"Just let it all out," Suboshi said, rubbing his brother's back as he held 
him closer. "It's okay..."

"No, it isn't," Amiboshi choked. "I'm in love with you, this is wrong and 
you probably hate me!"

"Aniki!" Suboshi tightened his grip. "Don't ever say that! I could never 
hate, you, no matter what!" he said.

"But I'm in love with you."

"Aniki..." Suboshi sighed. "Look...I honestly don't know what to say...I'm 
confused for a number of reasons right now," he said.

Amiboshi's only response was a sharp sniff.

"Aniki...please, look at me."

The older boy's swollen, tearful eyes looked up at Suboshi.

"I know this, though. I don't care what your feelings are...I'm not 
disgusted or angry. I don't hate you," Suboshi said softly. "You're my 
brother, and I love you. I always will, no matter what."

As Amiboshi tried to stop crying, Suboshi thought about his own feelings. 
He loved Yui, of course. She was his miko, and he'd do anything to protect 
her.

But he could also live with the thought of being without her, he'd 
realized. He hated it, but he could probably live with it.

He couldn't live without Amiboshi.