'Another day, another failure,' Tomo thought miserably as he locked himself in his room. 'I don't care anymore, though. It's all so pointless.' He wet a rag with water from the basin and began to scrub off the many layers of makeup he wore. "Sometimes I wonder why I even bother," he mumbled. "It takes so long to put on, and it doesn't DO anything except make me look freakishly ugly. And I'm just going to take it off at night anyway, so what's the point of spending so much time putting it on?" He scrubbed off the last of the garish paint and threw the rag to the floor. "Not like I need it to be ugly anyway," he muttered, glaring at his reflection in the mirror. "So what's the use in wearing that stuff just to scare people?" But he had a deeper reason for wearing it and he knew it. A reason that went beyond mere scare tactics. --- "Nobody's...ever told me...that they love me before...and meant it." "Never?" Tomo just shook his head, turning slightly away from Nakago. "Why...are you telling me this?" "I...I don't know." Tomo closed his eyes, blinking away tears that threatened to come forward. "It just isn't fair." "What are you talking about? What isn't fair?" "We used to be...lovers," Tomo began, the word 'lovers' not feeling right in his mouth. Then you and Soi started sleeping together. Now...our miko." Nakago bristled. How did Tomo know about Yui-sama?! "What about the miko?" he asked. "Soi told me. You told Yui that you love her the other night." "..." Nakago was stuck. He actually didn't love Yui, not the way he'd told her he did. But to explain that to Tomo...explain that he was just using her, to win the war and have Seiryuu grant his wishes...he just couldn't! "That was a private conversation, Tomo. And neither you OR Soi had any right to know!" he growled. Tomo recoiled. "I-I'm sorry, Nakago-sama, I should've...told her I didn't want to know!" he stammered. Damn it! Why was he getting so emotional? He never, ever showed his emotions, especially not fear or sadness, especially not in front of Nakago! He bit his lip and curled his hands into fists. "You act like you love Soi. You told the miko you love her and probably slept with her." "So?" "I just can't help feeling a bit left out, you know? I'm the only one you've fucked who you never said 'I love you' to!" "There's a good reason for that!" Nakago yelled. "What?! Tell me, Nakago-sama, what is this 'good reason'? What's the good reason to torture me this way?" Tomo's fingernails dug into his palms. I WILL not cry, he told himself over and over again. "...Tomo..." Nakago sighed heavily. "I...it's easier for me to say it... when I don't mean it..." "What do you mean?" Tomo turned around slightly to look at the blond man. "I...I have a hard time saying what I mean...when it comes to emotions..." Nakago's heart pounded in his chest. It's now or never... "The only reason I never tell you I love you is...because I mean it." Tomo's heart skipped a beat. 'Is he saying...?!' he thought, then shook his head. 'No. He can't. It's pretty damn obvious by now he likes women...' Tears sprang to his eyes. Damn it! 'I'm not gonna cry...not in front of him...not now...' "Tomo..." Nakago swallowed the lump forming in his throat. "I love you." That did it. The tears Tomo had tried to fight back spilled over. He couldn't speak...Nakago had just said the words he'd wanted so much to hear...but did he mean them at all? Nakago glared slightly at the black-haired man. Here he'd just poured his emotions out and Tomo couldn't even answer?! Then he realized the other Seishi was crying... "Tomo...what's WRONG?" he asked, trying to keep the anger out of his voice. "...Nakago-sama..." Tomo managed to get out after a few minutes. "Y-You mean it, I guess...you love me." "Why the hell not?!" Nakago yelled, then softened. "I-I'm sorry..." "What about Soi? And the miko?" "I love Soi as a sister...and Yui-sama...my feelings for her were merely lust," Nakago said quietly. "So why did you tell them 'I love you' when you didn't mean it, and...?" "Not tell you when I mean it? Tomo, it's...hard for me to be...honest with my emotions," Nakago sighed, placing his hand gently against Tomo's cheek. "Especially with a man...as beautiful as you are." Tomo lifted his face, looking into the deep blue eyes of the man before him. Something in them he'd never seen before... 'Sincerity...' "Nakago-sama..." He smiled a little amid his tears. Nakago slowly embraced the man's trembling form. The feeling of holding another man so close... how could he never have known how wonderful it was? "You're so beautiful," he murmured, burying his face against Tomo's hair... it felt so soft when he left it down, not covered by its usual headdress. "So beautiful...Tomo..." 'I hear him...this must be a dream, but it feels so real...Nakago-sama...' Tomo looked up, smiling through his tears. "Beautiful...?" "Yes...I can't stand to see you hidden under all that makeup...I want to see you, not some illusion," Nakago whispered. Tomo's smile brightened. "It...does get tiring, putting it on every morning just to remove it at night," he said. "But...I-I can't let the others see me, Nakago-sama..." "Then don't...for now, just let me see you...please." Nakago gently trailed a finger along Tomo's cheek. "I want to see you...not some illusion..." he whispered, leaning closer and gently brushing his lips against Tomo's. "Nakago..." Tomo's eyes closed as he allowed Nakago to take him into a sudden kiss. Those lips...the ones he could only dream of until now, touching his own...it was almost hard to believe a man so cold and ruthless could have such soft lips!